Something clever alluding to the end...

I began this post in my notebook, the old fashioned way.  It was quite refreshing.  I might have to continue to do that.  Also, I attempted to come up with a clever title, but decided "The End: Take Two" sounded ridiculous.  Therefore...no.

So hockey playing is done for the season and we've moved on to the off-season.  Which means NHL Awards (yesterday), NHL Draft 2011 (tomorrow), trades (ALL THE TIME!), and RUMORS (Stamkos to the Flyers?  I swear, it wasn't me who came up with that one.).  So it's time for a rewind of the past season.

I believe I've sufficiently covered the end of the Pen's season, so moving on to my Kalamazoo Wings, CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!!!  I'm pretty sure everyone (that was paying attention) knew Alaska was going to win the finals, so I'm glad we at least didn't get swept.  That would've been embarrassing.  It sucked to lose it at home though.  I'm proud to say I only missed one game in the playoffs.  Apparently hockey is not scheduled around Holy Week.  Go figure.  So instead of going to a really exciting game (which we won), I went to a Good Friday service at which I recovered from really weird food from the Maundy Thursday service the previous evening.

Grossest being the horseradish.  Although the parsley dipped in salt water was a close second.  Charoset was euh.  It has nuts in it.  Which I don't like.  The lamb was yummy.  And the eggs were also yummy.  Made for the most interesting Maundy Thursday service I've ever been to, though.  So overall excellent.  And I jumped again at the Good Friday service.  Dad did an excellent door slamming again this year.  (Happens every year at the end of the service, once all the candles and lights are out.  Symbolizing the death of Jesus.  Every year.  And I still jump.)

Back to hockey!  There are a few things which impressed me this season.:
1. Mitch Versteeg's first half.  (He gets a mention first since he ties for first as favorite K-Wing.)  The first game I went to, he made me look twice...a few times.  He came out with more speed, more jump, more aggression, and more offense than I ever expected out of a K-Wing's D-man.  I was impressed by him last season mainly for his responsibility in the defensive zone, but this year he pulled more Tanger-look-a-likes than usual.  Whoo!  That's my boy!  Unfortunately, he couldn't keep it going the whole season and rather fizzled the last few months, to be overshadowed by the fellow D-men, Steven Tarasuk and Jon Landry. (I would like to point out that Versteeg's +/- is better than both of theirs.)  Also unfortunately, it looks like a return of Verskeezy is unlikely next season, as he was traded as the "future considerations" for Coutu to the Trenton Devils.  We'll see what happens.  In the mean time, feast your eyes:

So it's not much to feast your eyes on...  But the only thing anyone ever uploads from ECHL games are fights, so I didn't have lot of options.  (Feel free to check out a previous post, in which his skeezy mustache is featured.)

2. Justin Taylor's got some killer, sexy moves.  (That was not a comment on his looks or dancing abilities, as I have never seen him out of gear and also have never seen the kid dance.)  Anyway, he was on FIRE in the post-season.  A thing of beauty to watch.  Also a young'n.  (So he's only...3 months younger than me...whatever.)  He played a good season (obviously not as good as Babyface) and hopefully he'll continue that good play into next season for us.  One thing I'd like him to work on next season?  Control.  107 penalty minutes in 48 games?  Second on the team.  And first in penalty minutes played 72 games.  Normally this doesn't bother me (Lies.), but those penalty minutes weren't mostly from fights.  It was mostly a lot of minor penalties.  A lot.  Too many.  Reign it in boyo.  Penalties aside, Justin showed some signs of absolute brilliance.  He led the league in Rookie scoring in the post-season and he did it with shitloads of style.  some of the moves I watched him pull off...  My personal opinion?  He got a visit from Mr. JStaal (since his season was over) who passed on a tidbit of his brilliance.  Just a theory.  Also, p.s.  My comment earlier about Mr. Taylor's looks has prompted me to see what he looks like. :)  Which google has coincidentally reminded me that he shares a full name with...Justin Taylor (duh!) of Queer As Folk!  I LOVE HIM!  Adorable!  Therefore you get two pictures.  Let's compare.

This is a little creepy.

3. Team play.  I really felt like I was watching players who were all invested in their personal play and believed in themselves, their teammates and their system.  There was a drive that I think was missing previously.  A passion.  I don't believe any of these players ever lacked a passion for the game.  That's never in question.  But the way in which that passion was directed as a team this year...  Well, it was quite something.  Congrats on such amazing team chemistry.  Side note: inking Coach Bootland to a three year deal?  Genius at keeping this going.  All this talk about team chemistry makes me want to watch Miracle and get warm fuzzies.

4. MY LINE!  I'm bookending with my favorite players.  BABYFACE!  Also Lloyd and Daavettila (I had to look up how to spell that.  From now on , he's Trent.)  I would just like to say that I adored these three on the ice together.  Makes me want to squeal like a five year old girl just thinking about it.  This line combined for some crazy, off the charts (not really, since it fits the chart just fine) scoring this season.  The three of them (even though they most certainly did not play with each other all the time) combined for 82 goals, 120 assists, 202 total points, a +68, 174 penalty minutes, and 630 shots on goal.  Not bad.  Obviously they pulled their weight in different ways.  Babyface is really more of a scorer with 38 goals and 33 assists.  Trent was an absolute STAR this year (sorry Andrew!) with 32 goals, and FORTY-EIGHT assists and a +28.  Each had 238 shots a piece.  Darryl Lloyd is a bit of an afterthought in the scoring department to be honest, but he did have 39 assists and 130 penalty minutes (naughty boy).  Speaking of Lloyd, story time! 

So I go to a lot of games by myself (because I can only convince my non-hockey-loving friends to got so often) and about February (?) I started sitting next to a couple of season ticket holders.  They're super nice (section 22 rocks!).  Well, first week of the playoffs come around and the woman turns around to talk to me and says "We were talking and we always see you come by yourself.  Are you dating one of the players?"  I'm pretty sure I stared at her like she was crazy, because no!  Which I of course tell her.  She asks me if I'm sure to which I respond "I've never even met any of them, so it would be hard to be dating one.  Neat trick."  I refrain from telling her that I've always been vehemently against the idea of dating a hockey player of any sort.  I think the idea is dead in the water until her husband gets back and she talks to him for a couple seconds and then turns around with this look of surprise on his face and asks me "Really??"  She says "I told him you're dating Darryl Lloyd.  Now, I'm sitting there, trying really, really, really hard to keep a straight face because, come on!  This is a great practical joke!  But I can't.  I bust out laughing.  He then says "I really believed her for a second there."  To which I respond, "I may have been able to keep that going if she hadn't said Darryl Lloyd.  He's actually my least favorite player on the team."  So it's something of a running joke now.  She has actually tried it on a couple other people who sit a few rows in front of us.  I kept a straight face for more than a couple seconds.  Only because I didn't know she was doing it.  I really wanted to respond to the question of me dating a player with: No.  Chance.  In.  Hell.  I love hockey.  I love boys (usually).  I love watching boys play hockey.  I even think a lot of those boys are pretty (I'm a girl with hormones and eyes, duh!).  But I would never, ever date one.

Back to my line:

There's even a picture!  Umm...all in all, they're kind of amazing.  What I originally wanted to say about Lloyd?  He's a dirty player.  No two ways about it.  On the plus side, I think he's done a better job this year of controlling himself.  But not good enough.  His temper needs some work.  Or channeling.  Channeling, for sure.  I don't mind some temper on the ice.  It shows his passion, but he needs to be better at picking his moments and he needs to be better at channeling into something legal.  I'd take more fights from him (not that he needs help with that) any day over the dirty hits.  (Side note to Cookie-monster: Thank you for coming out and saying you need to work on your anger.  I hearts you a lot.)

I just got super distracted talking about my line.  There wasn't even a number four on my written list when I started typing.  But then I realized that I had so much to say about my line, they deserve an extra number.  One thing did NOT impress me this year.  And it's something that I can't quite believe I'm saying.  Bryan Jurynec.  Now, to start out, I've never been a big fan.  I think he fights too much and loses too much of his game filling that role.  The K-Wings played a cleaner season this year (excepting some of the dirtiness of Lloyd and the plethora of penalties from Taylor, as mentioned above) and Jurynec couldn't seem to adapt his grittiness into something else.  To be fair, I remember watching him in preseason and being pretty impressed at some of the things he was doing.  He's grown on me a lot.  Because as much as he fights, he doesn't tend to be as dirty a player as Lloyd.  However, Lloyd tends to use that toughness and translate it into his abilities as a whole player.  Jurynec didn't seem able to do that this season and as a result didn't get much playing time this season.  I think he's a player with the potential to be a solid, gritty role player.  He just needs to put that grit into his skating, drive, and play making.  I'm not saying I want him to not fight, because, as a smaller player, he can obviously hold his own and that's great.  But he needs to find other ways to contribute because that's not enough anymore.  Also, he got a haircut this year!!!!!  Note the five exclamation marks.  Well deserved.  The new hair is much more lovely.

Old hair:                                                           New hair:

Like I said, much improved.

I think this about wraps up my end of season review.  Almost.  A couple things I'm looking forward to next season:
1.  Kalamazoo is getting a Junior team!  Because I obviously needed more hockey to watch.  Go Junior K-Wings!
2.  Sitting in section 22 for more of the season next year.  Good people there.  Also, best view.  A little under halfway up. 
A couple notes:
1.  I got to see BabyOrps and BabiestStaal most every time they were in Kalamazoo.
Spot who's who! (It's not hard.)

Adorable!  Can't you just feel the brotherly love?
I still think watching BabyOrps play is a little creepy.  Seeing as he's number 11, looks like a Brooks clone, and plays a little like my Jordy.  Also, Jared played really well this season.  With the exception of the first game I saw him in (I don't remember when that was.) when he didn't really stand out.  After that, I was super impressed.
2.  Unfortunately the only time the Penguins play in Detroit or Chicago next season?  One game each in the preseason.  That's it.  So third weekend of September, here I come.  Also, Columbus or St. Louis?  Or Nashville?  Or PITTSBURGH?  I haven't been to Consol yet.  I think it's time.

Time to come to a close.  Next up: NHL Awards/Draft/Trade/Stanley Cup win comments.

The end. For now. (Only for now! For now!)

First off.  Points if you understood the reference in the title.  Second off.  I hate that the Penguins' season has come to an end.  (Okay, so it came to an end a couple of weeks ago.  Since when have I been on top of it?)

Things I'm going to miss about this season:
1. Sid being a beast.  Oh wait, I've BEEN missing that.  Highlight vids here I come.

 2. Jordy being a beast.  As per usual.  Despite injury, he came back to play well.  Better next season though...can't wait!!!

3. Our 6th D-man.  King of England/MISTERBENLOVEJOY.  Both of whom were awesome in many different ways.

 Look at that FACE!  Received on quite an excellent night.  Despite the fact that you came away with that.
4. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEE.
5. Growing super attached to Goose's replacements.  AKA Nealer and Niskanen.  (Try saying "Niskanen" over and over.  Fun.      Fun.  Fun.  Fun.)  To be honest, I really like James Neal.  OT hero.  As we didn't really see a whole lot of Niskanen I don't have much of an opinion.
6. Mr. President and Superstar.  One of them, or both of them, is going during this off-season.  If I start dealing with it now maybe it won't be as upsetting when it actually happens.  I suppose other players may have to go, but I don't want to think about it.
7. Goalies!  MAF, you badass MF.  Rockin' it.  Becoming superman.  Like whoa.  Also, BJ.  You're not just an afterthought!  Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for saving our season and turning it around when you did.  Thing of BEAUTY.
8. AK27!  I mean AK72.  Sorry.  (You don't mind sharing your number, right Adsy?)  In honor of the fact that Kovalev is the second hockey player I think of when you tell me to think of a hockey player (after Mario, the God of Pittsburgh hockey) he deserves a mention.  My sister's favorite hockey player has returned.  (His stints with other teams obviously don't count.) UPDATE!:  Shero has reportedly said that Kovy will not be returning next season.  :_(  Not cool.
9. Coach Danny B.  He's like Yoda, he's so zen.  Seriously, if someone's telling you to clear your mind and focus, just think of Danny B's face during a game.
10. OTs and shootouts.  I think it's safe to say we've had a LOT of practice this season.  My nails do NOT thank you for it and neither does my blood pressure.  BUT, thanks for some exciting games.

Things I'm not going to miss about this season:
1. NO CROSBY.  Since February (I think that's when I last talked about anything.) the Penguins have been without Sid.  Still.  Luckily noone had to deal with my ridiculousness concerning the news of his recovery.  Pretty sure I screamed when my sister texted me that Siddy-poo SKATED.  Unfortunately, much to the dismay of my 5-year-old-girl-emotions, Sidsters has regressed and is now having symptoms.  Again.  Feel better soon Sid Vicious!

I can't wait to see this again!  (Highlight videos, here I come!!!)
2. Starting a season without Staalsy-boy.  It's sad on so many levels.  Thank god for some of the other boys stepping up on the PK.  However, since JANUARY, the Penguins have HAD MrJStaal at their disposal.  It's a thing of beauty.  Really, it is!  Also, I'm pretty sure he's used up all of his ridiculous injury cards.  He better have.  Because next season is it.  He's breaking the 50 point mark.  It's totally gonna happen.  Screw that!  He's breaking 66 points.  And winning the Selke at the same time.  (I'm hoping the higher standards I hold, the closer he'll get.)  All things considered, he turned out a pretty good season.  He played responsibly and, until the playoffs, his points per game number was pretty damn good.  I think this is an appropriate spot to feature a lovely example of the Long Reach of Staal.

 Ok, so the picture angle helps out a little bit.  But he's a GIANT!
3. Getting eliminated in the first round.  To Tampa Bay Lightning.  We played tired, tired, tired.  And we had to deal with St. Louis, Lecavalier, Stamkos, and Gagne.  Who, weirdly enough, didn't factor in as much as Tampa's roleplayers.  I just distinctly remember a couple pretty, pretty moves by Sean Bergenheim.

So it's not a picture from the game, but look at that FACE.  HAHAHA...  Funny guy.  Apparently used to be an Isle.  No wonder I don't like him much.  Speaking of which...
4. Isles-Pens brawls.  Fuckin HATE the Isles.  Pretty sure this has been covered.  Also, I used to like them just fine, and then the travesty happened. 

5. Still not seeing a Penguins WIN in person.  One day, one day.  At least we pushed it in to OT this time.  Erik Johnson, you little bitch.  (Fine, fine!  I take it back.  You're actually pretty awesome. Sorry you got traded to the Avs.  Not that I don't like them either, but I've since been having soft and cuddly feelings for the Blues.)  Next season, it's gonna happen.  Among many other things.  I'm pretty sure that I may have to go to a game against Florida, or some other shitty team, to see it happen though.

Players who I will potentially be missing next season:
1. Tyler Kennedy.  Mr. Present.  TK.

What a man.  I'm sure there were other more flattering pictures, but this one was pretty priceless.  That's right, TK, thank your stick for scoring you a goal...by licking it.  Anyways.  Breakout season.  Enough to warrant a pay raise which the Penguins probably can't swing.  I have a distinct feeling that we'll be trading you.  Or you'll take a sweet offer elsewhere.  Or you'll take a not so sweet offer here.  Which would be preferable.  But not fair to you.
2. Maxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime.  Oh, sweetie!  Your heroism in the Stanley Cup finals is much appreciated. 

 However, putting the future of your contract entirely on your playoff performance this season was not a good way to ensure another season in the Pitts.  Sorry boyo, but regular season performance wasn't quite as amazing as I think it needs to be to warrant resigning you.
3. Either Godsy or Asham.  I think there's really only room for one of you.  And now with the way the call-ups were playing this season and with most of them being healthy all at the same time, we're kinda flush with forwards. 

Both badasses.  Obviously.  Not that we don't already have a number of those.

4. Mike Comrie.  AKA Mr. Duff.

Aren't y'all cute???  I suppose there is a chance.  A small chance.  That we could give Comrie the benefit of the doubt and re-sign him.  Maybe.  Since we didn't really get to see him play.  Like at ALL.  Ok, so 21 games.  But Nick Johnson (also a UFA...every time I type that I want to type UFO instead) only played 4 games up this season and he was more memorable.  It should probably be taken as a bad sign that the most memorable thing about Comrie is his wife.  UPDATE!:  According to a reliable source (AKA Megan Casey) Comrie may be retiring.  Woah frickin nelly.
5. Matt Niskanen.  NOT a UFA this season, but he does account for $1.5 million cap hit and we have 6 other NHL caliber, ready, and tested d-men under contract.  He's a good candidate for a trade.  (Hint.  Hint.)

Not that I don't LIKE him, because I do.  Just not as much I ADORE MISTERBENLOVEJOY and Engells.

Next post: The end of MY hockey season.  (K-wings and Sharks are done as well.  Sad face.)

New York, New York

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011: Pens @ Rangers

So this is NOT the most important part of the Rangers game, but did you see Jordy's left hook???  I LOLZED a lot.  Thanks for making me giggle.  And panic.  All in the space of about 5 seconds.

That's right.  Don't mess with Mr. President (TK, Kennedy, Tyler...).  Jordy's got his back!  Also.  Really?  You got DROPPED by a punch, Prust?  Lame.  That's ok.  There's a club for that now.  "NHL players on the receiving end of one punch from a Penguin."  AKA the "LOLZ" club.  DiPietro is a member now too.  More on that later.

This fighting thing.  I don't know that I've talked much about it before.  With the obvious exception of talking about the badassness of King of England.  I'll be honest in saying that I don't really get super excited and pumped up when I see my boys fight.  Usually I stay in my seat, smile, and shake my head a little.  Especially at K-Wings games.  At K-Wings games, it is rare to go and NOT see a fight.  Understandably so.  These guys are all playing in the ECHL and want to prove themselves.  Sometimes I wish they would prove themselves more by making clean passes.  Obviously not as flashy, but eh.  I really just want a better reason or three.  That's the difference in watching NHL hockey and ECHL hockey.  Well, it's one of the differences.  In the ECHL, tempers tend to be shorter and less under control, but more selfishly based and in the NHL, the players are no less passionate, just more intelligent on the ice.  They pick and choose the fights based on timing.  Usually.  Sometimes it's just about a dirty hit and protecting your teammate even if it's not strategically the best option.  But for the most part, the intelligence it takes to get to that NHL level of hockey allows for fewer fights with more impact.  Now, this is not to say I don't think the K-Wings ever fight for good reasons, because they do.  I just think that SOMETIMES they get a little carried away.  The games going just fine and someone on the other team hooks your teammate around the net and the ref has his hand up and the whistle blown.  And you fight anyway?  You shove them until they drop their gloves and then you take 5 minutes for fighting and 2 for roughing or instigating and instead of a powerplay which could lead to good scoring chances, we're playing 4 on 4 hockey and you're taking a breather in the box.  I just don't like it.

That was a little rant-y.  Details.  (Also, you're insane if you think that rant means I want fighting removed from the game.  Hell no.)  What was I talking about?  Oh yeah.  Rangers game.

Firstly, let's discuss the FSNPittsburgh commentator's obsessions with the big bodies of Jordy and Tangradi.  And then they practically peed their pants with excitement when they thought about a line of Jordy, Tangradi, and Geno.  It was a little adorable how much they channeled me.  Eric Tangradi got the call-up in the morning to replace Letestu (still needs a nickname...the obvious is Testy, but I'm not thrilled yet) who will be out 4-6 weeks.  I don't want to comment on the kind of health karma the Pens have going on right now.  Anyway...Tangradi played really well and JESUS!  He was much quicker than I expected from him.  Me likey.

So...I suck at updating.  And I realized today that I never posted this.  So I'm just going to leave as is and go for it.  Moving on...coming soon:  An overview of the current NHL CapItans. A non-hockey related post (!?!).  And perhaps some further reaction on Mr. BENLOVEJOY's goal today.

Heinz Catch-up Parte Deux: Call-ups: Temporary and Permanent, BEN LOVEJOY DAY

So there are a few pretty cool guys who've come up from Wilkes-Barre this season.  First there are the forwards:
Chris Conner, #18

Yes, that is Mr. Chris Conner scoring a PENALTY SHOT on the Detroit Red Wings.  In a 4-1 W.  It was a beauty.  He began the season with the Baby Pens and has since played 32 games up with the Big team.  My favorite statistic of his this season is the Pens record with him in the lineup.  23-6-3.  Isn't he dreamy?

Dustin Jeffrey, #15

Dustin has 6 games under his belt this season and it's certainly looking like he can have more.  With Sid and Geno both out in addition to our other injured players and the way he played against Carolina (pretty pretty nice goal there mister) they'll play him more.  This is your shot, take it!  However, because he's playing well, that may be a sure sign that the Pens front office will deal him in the off season.  We just don't have the space on the roster for him, I don't think.

Mark Letestu, #10

I feel like a proud mama with him.  Seriously, the boy is undrafted at the age of 25 and breaks into a permanent roster spot on the Pittsburgh Penguins.  I would also like to point out that he played for Western Michigan University.  Ok, so it was one season, but then he signed a contract with the Pens.  I would leave Western for the Pens any day.  Duh.  He's had a great season so far, and he's only going to get more ice time.  Good for you, Mark.  He needs a nickname.  I'll work on it.

And we're finally to the D-Men up from Wilkes-Barre.  Umm...DAMN, boys.

First, Deryk Engelland, #5

Once again, DAMN, boy.  10 fights on the year so far.  He is one crazy shit bastard.  In a really good way.  Because come on, who takes on Colton Orr in his third game on the Pens permanent roster???  Oh yeah, King of England.  And then takes him on again.  And also makes Jody Shelley bleed like a little bitch.  Pardonnez-moi.  I suppose it shouldn't be that surprising considering his pre-NHL fight record.  Because he has indeed fought Colton Orr not once (2000, WHL), not twice (2003, WHL), but THREE times before this season (2003, AHL).  He has a 55-17-22 record (according to dropyourgloves.com) dating back to his 1999-2000 season in the WHL.  Yes, he's a crazy mf.
I suppose there are some other things to say about King of England.  He's also one heck of a defensive player.  I think I sometimes forget about his other attributes because the fighting is so flashy.  Shiny.  Ooh!!!  I'm like a bird, I swear to god.  We officially have him on a 3 year contract extension.  Woo!  Also (and I don't know how I missed this until now) he was named as best fighter in the NHL on the January 14th episode of Off the Record.  Coolness.  There's only one drawback to Deryk Engelland.  He and BEN LOVEJOY have to split that 6th d-man role. 

Speaking of... Ben Lovejoy, #6

Oh my god.  Can I say favorite (second to Mr. JStaal of course)???  To be honest, I'm not completely sure why.  But one of my favorite blogs, puckhuffers (check those girls out!), referenced Mr. Lovejoy and his blog/newspaper column forever ago.  When he was in Wilkes-Barre.  And I read it.  And I about died of shock.  He's witty.  With complete sentences.  (Try not to have a heart attack!)  I suppose that's where it started.  BENLOVEJOY went to Dartmouth and even completed his college education.  Kudos.  And then went to play a few games for Norfolk and then signed with the Baby Pens.  And now he's here.  On my Pens team.  And now there is an official BENLOVEJOY DAY.  December, 22nd.  His one and only NHL goal.  So far.  I was only predicting it for about every game he's played in this season.  Only took 17 predictions to come true.  Also, his first NHL fight.  No assist though.  After that fight his face looked like a chipmunk, so no more gametime for him.  :(

I'll end the official declaring of BEN LOVEJOY DAY with a couple stellar pictures:

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

 FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

:D

Heinz Catch-up.

Firstly.  Yes, I made a ketchup joke.  Yes, it was bad.

I have decided that since I took such an extended break from writing I need to play a little bit of catch up.  So I'll start with Mr. Jordan Staal.

PK Subban's still a bitch.  He laid Jordy out until November.  And then Jordy laid himself out with a broken hand until the Winter Classic.  It was the end of The Streak.  And it kinda broke my heart.  Also, my predictions about a 50+ point season for Staalsy are looking pretty unlikely about now.  (That does NOT mean don't try!)  Next season.

There are a few new Penguins this season!  And some that are no longer with us (both happy and sad).

 Arron Asham (whose last name is apparently a corn-based Jamaican dessert, thanks Wikipedia) comes to us from the Cryers.  It has taken a couple months, but I've gotten over him having been one.  Also, it helps that he is not Scotty Hartnell.  He's like Cookie Monster's twin.  It's adorbs.  I have yet to see my dream line of Cookie-Staalsy-Asham...y.  Just think how awesome that would be.  A seriously gritty line.  Other fun non-hockey related facts about Mr. Asham include:  the most adorably named children ever (Dexter, Asilyn, Oceane) and he is Métis Canadian (one of the aboriginal peoples of Canada...cool).  Hockey related fun facts include: has played for the Canadiens, the Islanders, the Devils (BIG LOLZ THIS SEASON), the Cryers, and the PENGUINS; had his career best season points-wise his first full season in the NHL with the Islanders; has represented Canada on the world stage once (1995 U-18 team).  A side note: I used the above picture because the decent pictures of him playing all had him in a Flyers uniform and I could not stomache that.  :D

Mike Comrie (whose last name is a village and parish in Southern Scotland) comes from the Oilers.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I'm done now.  Really.  Hehehe.  To be honest, I have yet to form much of an opinion of Comrie as a hockey player as I've yet to see him play a lot this season.  He is holding true to past seasons and is injury plagued at the moment.  Unless he comes back in time for playoffs and plays really well, I doubt we'll be seeing him next season, but who knows?  Personally I know more about his wife then him seeing as he is married to Hilary Duff.  (How cute is that???  No, seriously.  The way they talk about each other is CUTE.)  This leads to my nicknaming moment of brilliance this season!  Interlude for story time...

So a few weeks back we were playing the Ottawa Senators (of whom I have an intense dislike for at the moment...I'll remember why at a later time) and I realized that Mike Fisher plays for them.  And recently married Carrie Underwood.  Who, if she gave up her name for his (which she did not), would then be Carrie Fisher.  A.k.a. Princess Leia.  Obviously it then followed that Mike Fisher is no longer Mike Fisher, but Mr. Princess Leia.  Feel free to applaud my brilliance.

Interlude over...back to Mike Comrie.  Or just moving on to the new D-Men.  First, Paul Martin.  I LOVE him.  He's a beast.  And fucking awesome.  He plays a lot.  And he blocks shots and is on the puck.  He plays responsibly away from the puck.  I love this guy.  If I had to lose Mark Eaton, Paul Martin is a great replacement.  (I'll always miss you Mark Eaton!!!)  I'm ALMOST to the point where I see Paul Martin on the ice with his number and actually think "Martin" before I think "Eats."  Almost.  Anyway.  He rocks my socks off.

Miscellaneous Paul Martin info.
1.  The first thing that comes up for "Paul Martin" on wikipedia is a Canadian politician who has a son named Paul, but is of no relation to Paul Martin, NHLer.
2.  He is a Minnesotan.  (I hope y'all said that "O" correctly.) 
3.  He is a former Devil.  Umm...eww.  (I have some intense hate for them at the moment.)  I'm glad he's seen the light.  Or the $5 mil a year.  Whichever is cool by me.
4.  Poor guy gets named to the U.S. Olympic team TWICE and still has yet to play on Olympic ice.  Watch out Russia 2014!  (I hope he gets the shot, cuz that would be pretty awesome.)
P.S.  Sidenote from mentioning the Devils.  Jamie Langenbrunner.  You know, FORMER captain.  Also former K-Wing.  So therefore, cool.  Well, he got traded (back) to the Stars.  Silly Devils.  Not that I mind.

And last, but certainly not least, of the new Pens is Zbynek Michalek.  (Yes spell check, I did spell that correctly.)

Umm...most adorable father-son Pittsburgh Penguins picture EVER.  Which is certainly saying something since Cookie-monster and Adsy have some pretty adorable moments with their kids on camera all the time.
Hockey-wise, Michalek is solid.  Still getting used to it though.  He's a pretty responsible player on the ice and I've rarely seen him make slip-ups.  Pretty much, I can just say that I'm super excited that our defensive pairing are all locked up for a while.  They.  Are.  Awesome.  (No offense, but Gonch leaving was the best thing to happen to Kristopher Letang.  Period.)

Which leads perfectly into Penguins no longer with us (in a good/not so good way depending on the player).

Beginning with Sergei Gonchar.  Yes, I know he's good.  But I was never his biggest fan.  I was very happy that he left.  He was not worth the amount of money we were spending on him (unlike some other Pens).

Ruslan Fedotenko.  Also...good riddance.  (I know, I know!!  I'm being rather blunt and not very nice right now.)  Go mess up on someone else's team.  Thank you very much.

Alexei Ponikarovsky and Jordan Leopold.  Umm...have fun?  I feel like I didn't really get much of a feel for these guys.  Even though I loved the fact that Alexei's nickname is PONI.  Too fun.

Jay McKee.  You beast, you.  I'm really really glad that the Blues bought out your contract so that you could play for the Penguins last season.  You blocked shots like an animal and I kinda love you for it.  I am sorry to see that you are not playing this season, but I hope the Niagara University men's hockey team appreciates you.  (Also, I love that they are the Purple Eagles...)

Skoula and Caputi left us before the summer, but whatever.  And then...

BILL GUERIN.  I MISS SEEING YOU ON THE ICE!  I about cried when they made it official to not re-sign him.  I can't decide if he's more awesome because he's a great hockey player or if he's more awesome because he's fuckin hilarious.  Whichever it is, he's just awesome.  And it about broke my heart when they showed pictures of him practicing with the Flyers in the off season.  Even if it would have meant a continuing career.  BUT, Sir Billy G is a class act and obviously knew what city was best and retired officially as a Pittsburgh Penguin on December 6, 2010.  And now he's being groomed in the front office.  Neat-o.  (Also, the Winter Classic Alumni game was pretty sweet because you played.)

Next installment...called up to full time roster spots...

Bonus picture to make you feel good:

The Return of Staal (and this blog)

So.  It's official.  Jordan Staal has returned to the game of hockey.  And I have returned to my blog.  Yay!!!  Yes, this does call for an official celebration.  I've been doing the hokey-pokey in my head like a 5 year old girl since it was announced last week that Jordan was to play in the Winter Classic.

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!!  DAVID STECKEL BETTER WATCH HIS BACK.  To clarify, this was not a threat of any kind.  Just fact.  He should keep his ginormously tall shoulders and elbows at their normal height and should NOT lower them into Cappy's head.  Bitch.

Umm...also.  Mike Green (My favorite Crapital...and yes.  I DO know it's a travesty to like one of them.) my nice feelings toward you diminished when the refs didn't give Cappy a penalty shot for your absolutely BLATANT and unsubtle show of affection for Sidney's body.

 I mean, I know hugs are nice and all, but if you could wait until after the game and not when Cappy's on a breakaway, that'd be cool.  Thanks.

Back to the important news of Jordy's return.  He was an absolute beast out there on Saturday night.  BEAST.  Injured foot.  Pft.  Injured hand.  Pft.  He looked solid.  I'm pretty sure my favorite moment was when Jordy kind of put out a hand in front of him and a Cap fell over.  Like running into a wall fell over.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Um.  Yes.  Still funny.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm attempting to ignore the final score of them game and the fact that Eric Fehr should wait to be so disgustingly productive until we're not playing them.


In other news.  Jordy's return: part 2.  AKA game 2.  Penguins v. Lightning.  Oh!  Oh!  FUNNY!  Oops.  Sorry.  But FUNNY!  Stamkos+St. Louis+Lecavalier+Gagne=umm...ZERO.  Ha.  Ha.  Umm....Kuny+restofPenguinsplayerswhorock=EIGHT.  AND, drumroll please, Adam Hall, Kalamazoo native, former Penguin and rhyming nickname buddy of Staalsy (Staalsy and Hallsy...how adorable is that???)=ONE.  Sometimes I love my life in how awesome it is.  It was one of the least nail-biting games I've watched in a long time.  It is, however, time for some goals.  And assists.  Please and thank you Jordy.  And Cappy.  I suppose I won't gloat on this game any longer and move on to the defensive extraordinariness that is Jordy's return: game 3.


For a loss, the Montreal game was really quite satisfying.  So long as you TOTALLY ignore the umm...unproductive offense.
Firstly, with Cappy out with a concussion (DIE STECKEL.  And Hedman.) and Cookie Monster back home for personal reasons, the Pittsburgh Penguins dressed King England (aka Deryk Engelland) as a 4th line forward and had Bennie-boy Lovejoy in the 3rd D pairing.
Secondly, the first period rocked offensively and defensively.
Thirdly, our penalty killers, well, it's a little embarrassing how good they are.
Fourthly, BJ.  DAMN, look at those legs!  Also, don't beat yourself up about that shootout goal on you.  Your legs are still FINE.  (I mean every innuendo possible with that statement.  Mostly because every time the commentators talk about you, that is exactly how they sound and I find it hilarious.  Can you tell I've been holding in my Johnny-leg jokes for a while?)

I think this concludes the Return of Staal Parts 1-3.  Except for one thing.  Mr. Jordan Staal, I am SO happy you cut your hair last week!  It was BAD before.  There's just no other way to put it.  Well, adorably bad.  You boys make some of the weirdest hair choices sometimes, I swear.

Also, this is how I feel about Jordy coming back!  :)

Pens v. Wings 2010 part TWO. In attendance. :)

Ok, so I pretty much suck at staying consistent about updating.  And since it's been too long since my last post that means I'm gonna go backwards.  Jordan update FIRST!  (Mostly 'cause in my head, that's where it goes anyway.)

Without further ado: 78 games, 48 pts, +19 (He's been a bit slumpy...shhh!!!  I think his brother took over for him.  Marc that is.  A D-man scoring 3 goals in his last 3 games?  It's just ridiculous!)
consecutive career games including playoffs: 372
593 games to go.
I think he's been missing Geno.  Also his regular third line.  :(  Also, I think all of my boys have been a bit...slumpy as of late.  But we're coming back!  Go Pens!

I think now is a good time to talk about Pens v. Wings on the 22nd.  Because I WAS THERE!  (Can you tell it was exciting???...  Even though we lost...)  Umm, well the seats were kickass.  Six rows from the ice on the goal line in the end where the Pens shot twice.  The goal happened in the second period.  Go figure.  BUT.  It was a goal.  By the Penguins.  For which I was physically present for and got to see.  It only took five periods of hockey for that to happen for me.  AND it was Kuny's 100th career goal.  How cool is that?

I was completely enthralled the moment the Pens touched the ice for warm-ups though.  They were on the other side and I was sitting there just staring like an idiot, eyes as wide as pucks.  (I made a joke!  lolz.)  My first game was NOTHING compared to this.  Well, not true.  It was pretty awesome.  But, Sidney.  Oh my god.  I about swooned.  That boy can skate his ass off.  I don't think my sister's raving about how amazing he is to watch live quite prepared me for it.  He's just...breathtaking.  Also, Jordan kept taking faceoffs on the dot right by me.  And I could see all the guys out there and how intense they were and just...OMG.  And there was this moment when Jordy was going after the puck on a breakaway (classic) and he just dug in and you could FEEL the power behind every stride.  Umm...I feel a little awkwardly fangirlish right now.

Let's feel a little less.  I hate the Red Wings.  No joke.  Well, duh.  But I actually kinda liked Jimmy Howard.  Until this game.  In which he was a bitch.  So Sid cross-checked Zetterberg a little hard at the end of the game in front of Detroit's net.  Zetterberg pushed back and so did Bertuzzi.  And then Jimmy Howard comes in and pushes his gloves in Sidney's face. 

I understand, really I do.  If it had been the other way around and it was my boy MAF I would've been like "Whoo.  Go Fleury!"  So I'm not taking too much issue with that.  It was Jimmy Howard's ridiculous comments after the game about Crosby.  Talk about a lack of respect.  Thank you Henrik Zetterberg for being a class act.  ALSO, if you watched the game, you heard the crap that was the Red Wings fans.  Really people?  "Crosby sucks!"???  Mhm.  Because he was drafted first overall, has a Stanley Cup, 47 goals on the year, and makes Mario moves like he can do them in his sleep because he's so...sucky.  Right.  Sure.  I hate the Red Wings.  I kinda am feeling some Jimmy Howard hate at the moment.  But they're damn good players.  There IS a reason they have the kind of success they do.  They are a good team with good work ethic.  I still hate them, but I can respect at the same time.  All I'm asking is that Red Wings fans show that they have some hockey knowledge.  (I know they do, I just wish it was a little more evident.)

Rant over.  I think.  Further updates (because I think my little heart just got upset because of talking about this again and it needs a break) will be uploaded very soon.  Soon, as in later tonight.  Also, pictures to be added.  Yay!

Go PENGUINS!