The Return of Staal (and this blog)

So.  It's official.  Jordan Staal has returned to the game of hockey.  And I have returned to my blog.  Yay!!!  Yes, this does call for an official celebration.  I've been doing the hokey-pokey in my head like a 5 year old girl since it was announced last week that Jordan was to play in the Winter Classic.

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!!  DAVID STECKEL BETTER WATCH HIS BACK.  To clarify, this was not a threat of any kind.  Just fact.  He should keep his ginormously tall shoulders and elbows at their normal height and should NOT lower them into Cappy's head.  Bitch.

Umm...also.  Mike Green (My favorite Crapital...and yes.  I DO know it's a travesty to like one of them.) my nice feelings toward you diminished when the refs didn't give Cappy a penalty shot for your absolutely BLATANT and unsubtle show of affection for Sidney's body.

 I mean, I know hugs are nice and all, but if you could wait until after the game and not when Cappy's on a breakaway, that'd be cool.  Thanks.

Back to the important news of Jordy's return.  He was an absolute beast out there on Saturday night.  BEAST.  Injured foot.  Pft.  Injured hand.  Pft.  He looked solid.  I'm pretty sure my favorite moment was when Jordy kind of put out a hand in front of him and a Cap fell over.  Like running into a wall fell over.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Um.  Yes.  Still funny.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm attempting to ignore the final score of them game and the fact that Eric Fehr should wait to be so disgustingly productive until we're not playing them.


In other news.  Jordy's return: part 2.  AKA game 2.  Penguins v. Lightning.  Oh!  Oh!  FUNNY!  Oops.  Sorry.  But FUNNY!  Stamkos+St. Louis+Lecavalier+Gagne=umm...ZERO.  Ha.  Ha.  Umm....Kuny+restofPenguinsplayerswhorock=EIGHT.  AND, drumroll please, Adam Hall, Kalamazoo native, former Penguin and rhyming nickname buddy of Staalsy (Staalsy and Hallsy...how adorable is that???)=ONE.  Sometimes I love my life in how awesome it is.  It was one of the least nail-biting games I've watched in a long time.  It is, however, time for some goals.  And assists.  Please and thank you Jordy.  And Cappy.  I suppose I won't gloat on this game any longer and move on to the defensive extraordinariness that is Jordy's return: game 3.


For a loss, the Montreal game was really quite satisfying.  So long as you TOTALLY ignore the umm...unproductive offense.
Firstly, with Cappy out with a concussion (DIE STECKEL.  And Hedman.) and Cookie Monster back home for personal reasons, the Pittsburgh Penguins dressed King England (aka Deryk Engelland) as a 4th line forward and had Bennie-boy Lovejoy in the 3rd D pairing.
Secondly, the first period rocked offensively and defensively.
Thirdly, our penalty killers, well, it's a little embarrassing how good they are.
Fourthly, BJ.  DAMN, look at those legs!  Also, don't beat yourself up about that shootout goal on you.  Your legs are still FINE.  (I mean every innuendo possible with that statement.  Mostly because every time the commentators talk about you, that is exactly how they sound and I find it hilarious.  Can you tell I've been holding in my Johnny-leg jokes for a while?)

I think this concludes the Return of Staal Parts 1-3.  Except for one thing.  Mr. Jordan Staal, I am SO happy you cut your hair last week!  It was BAD before.  There's just no other way to put it.  Well, adorably bad.  You boys make some of the weirdest hair choices sometimes, I swear.

Also, this is how I feel about Jordy coming back!  :)