Heinz Catch-up Parte Deux: Call-ups: Temporary and Permanent, BEN LOVEJOY DAY

So there are a few pretty cool guys who've come up from Wilkes-Barre this season.  First there are the forwards:
Chris Conner, #18

Yes, that is Mr. Chris Conner scoring a PENALTY SHOT on the Detroit Red Wings.  In a 4-1 W.  It was a beauty.  He began the season with the Baby Pens and has since played 32 games up with the Big team.  My favorite statistic of his this season is the Pens record with him in the lineup.  23-6-3.  Isn't he dreamy?

Dustin Jeffrey, #15

Dustin has 6 games under his belt this season and it's certainly looking like he can have more.  With Sid and Geno both out in addition to our other injured players and the way he played against Carolina (pretty pretty nice goal there mister) they'll play him more.  This is your shot, take it!  However, because he's playing well, that may be a sure sign that the Pens front office will deal him in the off season.  We just don't have the space on the roster for him, I don't think.

Mark Letestu, #10

I feel like a proud mama with him.  Seriously, the boy is undrafted at the age of 25 and breaks into a permanent roster spot on the Pittsburgh Penguins.  I would also like to point out that he played for Western Michigan University.  Ok, so it was one season, but then he signed a contract with the Pens.  I would leave Western for the Pens any day.  Duh.  He's had a great season so far, and he's only going to get more ice time.  Good for you, Mark.  He needs a nickname.  I'll work on it.

And we're finally to the D-Men up from Wilkes-Barre.  Umm...DAMN, boys.

First, Deryk Engelland, #5

Once again, DAMN, boy.  10 fights on the year so far.  He is one crazy shit bastard.  In a really good way.  Because come on, who takes on Colton Orr in his third game on the Pens permanent roster???  Oh yeah, King of England.  And then takes him on again.  And also makes Jody Shelley bleed like a little bitch.  Pardonnez-moi.  I suppose it shouldn't be that surprising considering his pre-NHL fight record.  Because he has indeed fought Colton Orr not once (2000, WHL), not twice (2003, WHL), but THREE times before this season (2003, AHL).  He has a 55-17-22 record (according to dropyourgloves.com) dating back to his 1999-2000 season in the WHL.  Yes, he's a crazy mf.
I suppose there are some other things to say about King of England.  He's also one heck of a defensive player.  I think I sometimes forget about his other attributes because the fighting is so flashy.  Shiny.  Ooh!!!  I'm like a bird, I swear to god.  We officially have him on a 3 year contract extension.  Woo!  Also (and I don't know how I missed this until now) he was named as best fighter in the NHL on the January 14th episode of Off the Record.  Coolness.  There's only one drawback to Deryk Engelland.  He and BEN LOVEJOY have to split that 6th d-man role. 

Speaking of... Ben Lovejoy, #6

Oh my god.  Can I say favorite (second to Mr. JStaal of course)???  To be honest, I'm not completely sure why.  But one of my favorite blogs, puckhuffers (check those girls out!), referenced Mr. Lovejoy and his blog/newspaper column forever ago.  When he was in Wilkes-Barre.  And I read it.  And I about died of shock.  He's witty.  With complete sentences.  (Try not to have a heart attack!)  I suppose that's where it started.  BENLOVEJOY went to Dartmouth and even completed his college education.  Kudos.  And then went to play a few games for Norfolk and then signed with the Baby Pens.  And now he's here.  On my Pens team.  And now there is an official BENLOVEJOY DAY.  December, 22nd.  His one and only NHL goal.  So far.  I was only predicting it for about every game he's played in this season.  Only took 17 predictions to come true.  Also, his first NHL fight.  No assist though.  After that fight his face looked like a chipmunk, so no more gametime for him.  :(

I'll end the official declaring of BEN LOVEJOY DAY with a couple stellar pictures:

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

 FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

:D

Heinz Catch-up.

Firstly.  Yes, I made a ketchup joke.  Yes, it was bad.

I have decided that since I took such an extended break from writing I need to play a little bit of catch up.  So I'll start with Mr. Jordan Staal.

PK Subban's still a bitch.  He laid Jordy out until November.  And then Jordy laid himself out with a broken hand until the Winter Classic.  It was the end of The Streak.  And it kinda broke my heart.  Also, my predictions about a 50+ point season for Staalsy are looking pretty unlikely about now.  (That does NOT mean don't try!)  Next season.

There are a few new Penguins this season!  And some that are no longer with us (both happy and sad).

 Arron Asham (whose last name is apparently a corn-based Jamaican dessert, thanks Wikipedia) comes to us from the Cryers.  It has taken a couple months, but I've gotten over him having been one.  Also, it helps that he is not Scotty Hartnell.  He's like Cookie Monster's twin.  It's adorbs.  I have yet to see my dream line of Cookie-Staalsy-Asham...y.  Just think how awesome that would be.  A seriously gritty line.  Other fun non-hockey related facts about Mr. Asham include:  the most adorably named children ever (Dexter, Asilyn, Oceane) and he is Métis Canadian (one of the aboriginal peoples of Canada...cool).  Hockey related fun facts include: has played for the Canadiens, the Islanders, the Devils (BIG LOLZ THIS SEASON), the Cryers, and the PENGUINS; had his career best season points-wise his first full season in the NHL with the Islanders; has represented Canada on the world stage once (1995 U-18 team).  A side note: I used the above picture because the decent pictures of him playing all had him in a Flyers uniform and I could not stomache that.  :D

Mike Comrie (whose last name is a village and parish in Southern Scotland) comes from the Oilers.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I'm done now.  Really.  Hehehe.  To be honest, I have yet to form much of an opinion of Comrie as a hockey player as I've yet to see him play a lot this season.  He is holding true to past seasons and is injury plagued at the moment.  Unless he comes back in time for playoffs and plays really well, I doubt we'll be seeing him next season, but who knows?  Personally I know more about his wife then him seeing as he is married to Hilary Duff.  (How cute is that???  No, seriously.  The way they talk about each other is CUTE.)  This leads to my nicknaming moment of brilliance this season!  Interlude for story time...

So a few weeks back we were playing the Ottawa Senators (of whom I have an intense dislike for at the moment...I'll remember why at a later time) and I realized that Mike Fisher plays for them.  And recently married Carrie Underwood.  Who, if she gave up her name for his (which she did not), would then be Carrie Fisher.  A.k.a. Princess Leia.  Obviously it then followed that Mike Fisher is no longer Mike Fisher, but Mr. Princess Leia.  Feel free to applaud my brilliance.

Interlude over...back to Mike Comrie.  Or just moving on to the new D-Men.  First, Paul Martin.  I LOVE him.  He's a beast.  And fucking awesome.  He plays a lot.  And he blocks shots and is on the puck.  He plays responsibly away from the puck.  I love this guy.  If I had to lose Mark Eaton, Paul Martin is a great replacement.  (I'll always miss you Mark Eaton!!!)  I'm ALMOST to the point where I see Paul Martin on the ice with his number and actually think "Martin" before I think "Eats."  Almost.  Anyway.  He rocks my socks off.

Miscellaneous Paul Martin info.
1.  The first thing that comes up for "Paul Martin" on wikipedia is a Canadian politician who has a son named Paul, but is of no relation to Paul Martin, NHLer.
2.  He is a Minnesotan.  (I hope y'all said that "O" correctly.) 
3.  He is a former Devil.  Umm...eww.  (I have some intense hate for them at the moment.)  I'm glad he's seen the light.  Or the $5 mil a year.  Whichever is cool by me.
4.  Poor guy gets named to the U.S. Olympic team TWICE and still has yet to play on Olympic ice.  Watch out Russia 2014!  (I hope he gets the shot, cuz that would be pretty awesome.)
P.S.  Sidenote from mentioning the Devils.  Jamie Langenbrunner.  You know, FORMER captain.  Also former K-Wing.  So therefore, cool.  Well, he got traded (back) to the Stars.  Silly Devils.  Not that I mind.

And last, but certainly not least, of the new Pens is Zbynek Michalek.  (Yes spell check, I did spell that correctly.)

Umm...most adorable father-son Pittsburgh Penguins picture EVER.  Which is certainly saying something since Cookie-monster and Adsy have some pretty adorable moments with their kids on camera all the time.
Hockey-wise, Michalek is solid.  Still getting used to it though.  He's a pretty responsible player on the ice and I've rarely seen him make slip-ups.  Pretty much, I can just say that I'm super excited that our defensive pairing are all locked up for a while.  They.  Are.  Awesome.  (No offense, but Gonch leaving was the best thing to happen to Kristopher Letang.  Period.)

Which leads perfectly into Penguins no longer with us (in a good/not so good way depending on the player).

Beginning with Sergei Gonchar.  Yes, I know he's good.  But I was never his biggest fan.  I was very happy that he left.  He was not worth the amount of money we were spending on him (unlike some other Pens).

Ruslan Fedotenko.  Also...good riddance.  (I know, I know!!  I'm being rather blunt and not very nice right now.)  Go mess up on someone else's team.  Thank you very much.

Alexei Ponikarovsky and Jordan Leopold.  Umm...have fun?  I feel like I didn't really get much of a feel for these guys.  Even though I loved the fact that Alexei's nickname is PONI.  Too fun.

Jay McKee.  You beast, you.  I'm really really glad that the Blues bought out your contract so that you could play for the Penguins last season.  You blocked shots like an animal and I kinda love you for it.  I am sorry to see that you are not playing this season, but I hope the Niagara University men's hockey team appreciates you.  (Also, I love that they are the Purple Eagles...)

Skoula and Caputi left us before the summer, but whatever.  And then...

BILL GUERIN.  I MISS SEEING YOU ON THE ICE!  I about cried when they made it official to not re-sign him.  I can't decide if he's more awesome because he's a great hockey player or if he's more awesome because he's fuckin hilarious.  Whichever it is, he's just awesome.  And it about broke my heart when they showed pictures of him practicing with the Flyers in the off season.  Even if it would have meant a continuing career.  BUT, Sir Billy G is a class act and obviously knew what city was best and retired officially as a Pittsburgh Penguin on December 6, 2010.  And now he's being groomed in the front office.  Neat-o.  (Also, the Winter Classic Alumni game was pretty sweet because you played.)

Next installment...called up to full time roster spots...

Bonus picture to make you feel good:

The Return of Staal (and this blog)

So.  It's official.  Jordan Staal has returned to the game of hockey.  And I have returned to my blog.  Yay!!!  Yes, this does call for an official celebration.  I've been doing the hokey-pokey in my head like a 5 year old girl since it was announced last week that Jordan was to play in the Winter Classic.

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!!  DAVID STECKEL BETTER WATCH HIS BACK.  To clarify, this was not a threat of any kind.  Just fact.  He should keep his ginormously tall shoulders and elbows at their normal height and should NOT lower them into Cappy's head.  Bitch.

Umm...also.  Mike Green (My favorite Crapital...and yes.  I DO know it's a travesty to like one of them.) my nice feelings toward you diminished when the refs didn't give Cappy a penalty shot for your absolutely BLATANT and unsubtle show of affection for Sidney's body.

 I mean, I know hugs are nice and all, but if you could wait until after the game and not when Cappy's on a breakaway, that'd be cool.  Thanks.

Back to the important news of Jordy's return.  He was an absolute beast out there on Saturday night.  BEAST.  Injured foot.  Pft.  Injured hand.  Pft.  He looked solid.  I'm pretty sure my favorite moment was when Jordy kind of put out a hand in front of him and a Cap fell over.  Like running into a wall fell over.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Um.  Yes.  Still funny.

If you haven't noticed yet, I'm attempting to ignore the final score of them game and the fact that Eric Fehr should wait to be so disgustingly productive until we're not playing them.


In other news.  Jordy's return: part 2.  AKA game 2.  Penguins v. Lightning.  Oh!  Oh!  FUNNY!  Oops.  Sorry.  But FUNNY!  Stamkos+St. Louis+Lecavalier+Gagne=umm...ZERO.  Ha.  Ha.  Umm....Kuny+restofPenguinsplayerswhorock=EIGHT.  AND, drumroll please, Adam Hall, Kalamazoo native, former Penguin and rhyming nickname buddy of Staalsy (Staalsy and Hallsy...how adorable is that???)=ONE.  Sometimes I love my life in how awesome it is.  It was one of the least nail-biting games I've watched in a long time.  It is, however, time for some goals.  And assists.  Please and thank you Jordy.  And Cappy.  I suppose I won't gloat on this game any longer and move on to the defensive extraordinariness that is Jordy's return: game 3.


For a loss, the Montreal game was really quite satisfying.  So long as you TOTALLY ignore the umm...unproductive offense.
Firstly, with Cappy out with a concussion (DIE STECKEL.  And Hedman.) and Cookie Monster back home for personal reasons, the Pittsburgh Penguins dressed King England (aka Deryk Engelland) as a 4th line forward and had Bennie-boy Lovejoy in the 3rd D pairing.
Secondly, the first period rocked offensively and defensively.
Thirdly, our penalty killers, well, it's a little embarrassing how good they are.
Fourthly, BJ.  DAMN, look at those legs!  Also, don't beat yourself up about that shootout goal on you.  Your legs are still FINE.  (I mean every innuendo possible with that statement.  Mostly because every time the commentators talk about you, that is exactly how they sound and I find it hilarious.  Can you tell I've been holding in my Johnny-leg jokes for a while?)

I think this concludes the Return of Staal Parts 1-3.  Except for one thing.  Mr. Jordan Staal, I am SO happy you cut your hair last week!  It was BAD before.  There's just no other way to put it.  Well, adorably bad.  You boys make some of the weirdest hair choices sometimes, I swear.

Also, this is how I feel about Jordy coming back!  :)