Frienemy Friday, Edition 1: Anaheim Ducks

I had a brilliant idea a couple weeks ago, which I think was spurred on by a TV show I was watching.  (I think it was "Revenge.")  Mostly it centers around the word "frienemy."  Obviously, my brain made the leap directly to hockey.  And I've arrived at specials on teams with former Penguins (or Baby Penguins or Nailers or K-Wings...or from Pittsburgh or Kalamazoo).  Now, because I'm a ridiculously OCD person when it comes to order (My books are organized first by genre, and then alphabetically by author and my DVDs are in alphabetical order.  Feel free to mock.), it's only fitting that I begin with "A" for the Anaheim Ducks.

There is only one Duck currently on their roster who is a Penguin Frienemy.  Mr. George Parros.

This is possibly the most fitting picture of him that I could find.  Fighting + stache.  I should start with how monsieur frienemy IS a frienemy.  Parros was born December 29, 1979 in Washington, PA (Warsh-ing-ton.).  He didn't grow up in Pittsburgh, but I'm conveniently turning a blind eye to the fact that he grew up in Jersey (because who wants to say they grew up in Jersey???). 

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I'll start with the fighting, as that stands out among his hockey career.  He has a career 12 fights against Penguins/former Penguins (not necessarily while they were Penguins).  He began with brand new current Penguin, Steve MacIntyre on February 2nd, 2005 in a game between the Manchester Monarchs and the Hartford Wolf Pack of the AHL (Parros for Manchester and MacIntyre for Hartford).  I would totally post a video, except, apparently, people only record NHL or junior fights.  Also, it was in 2005.  Before the advent of the iPhone (there really was such a time!).  All I could seem to glean is that they found the need to fight not once, but twice in the same game.  Parros and MacIntyre completed their trilogy of fights (yes, I said trilogy!) exactly 6 years, 1 week and 6 days later on February 13th, 2011 in a game between Anaheim and Edmonton.  There IS video footage of this!

There are actually punches thrown!  Like, a real fight!  Not hugging!  (Ok, so there's definitely a good amount of pinning arms to the glass.  I won't say anything more down that road.  Because I'm not crass and vulgar.  Duh.  Don't forget to forget that statement when I say something crass and vulgar shortly.)

The second trilogy (Obviously George Parros has a thing for Star Wars.) involves Eric Godard.  Godsy!!!  Beast!!!  This was the Trilogy of 2007-2008.  It began in January of 2007, with a few good punches thrown and a knee brought up by Parros (it's quick, see if you can catch it...).  Godsy is the man.

It then continued on November 29th:

Umm, what was I saying?  I think I just went weak in the knees.  Godsy is a god (not God, because that's Mario).  Oh, sorry Parros.  But...  Hot damn!

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Continuing to their conclusion on February 17th, 2008:

My favorite thing about this?  Parros and Godard went from "two big men" in the first video to "two big boys" in the last.  It's good to know that people get younger with time.  Encouraging.  I almost said that I'm pretty sure once you hit the 6 foot, 200+ pounds, and 25+ years of age mark, you're not boys any more.  And then I thought about that statement and decided that wasn't quite accurate.  Since you'd have to move on from being boys into being men in the first place.

Parros' final trilogy took place against Paull Bissonnette.  AKA Biznasty.  (If you have twitter and you don't follow him, you should.  Purely for the entertainment value.)  The final trilogy took place in 2009 and 2010.  First, on Halloween (Appropriate.  I'm pretty sure Parros never needs a costume.  What with the mustache and all.) 2009.:

I think this was the most dance-like bout I've watched so far.  You could put music to it.  Short music.  They completed the trilogy in the space of less than a month in December of 2010 on the 5th and 28th.:

Niiiicely done, Bissonnette.  I'm thinking that it needs some swing music.

I'm impressed.  They even got some man-hugging in this time.

Now, Parros did fight a couple other former/current Penguins.  He has bookended his NHL fights against Penguins with Mike Rupp (Ruppers, how I miss you!!!).  He first fought Rupp in 2005, his first year in the league, while he was playing in Los Angeles and while Rupp was playing in Columbus.

Man, oh man...  This is good stuff.

I'm pretty sure they haven't seen the last of each other.  It's just going to take a little longer to complete their trilogy.  Since Ruppers is playing for the Rangers.  (At least it's not Philly.)

Last, but certainly not least.  Not least by a LOT.  Is Engells.  King of England.  Engelland.  It occurred on November 5th, 2010.  I'm going to preface this video by assuring you that this is not the best example of Engells fighting.  Keep that in mind.  And then go check him out against Colton Orr.  The boy is epic.

I'm glad that this is a Pittsburgh feed, since they understand that Engells is the shit.  Interesting point: this is Parros' only fight actually against the Penguins.  When one looks at Parros' stats against the Pens, it's not really all that surprising.  Considering that his career totals are: 4 games, 13:25 TOI, 7 penalty minutes and a -1.

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The second most important thing about Parros is his stache.  I'm pretty sure that it should be afforded its own seat on a plane.  Or two.  I'm also pretty sure that he never has to come up with a Halloween costume.  The stache does it all.

I hope this gives you a good idea.  I suppose it's not just the stache, but also the hair.  As evidenced by the last photo.  Props.

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There ARE other things to know about Mr. Parros.  For instance, sticking with the frienemy theme, his teammates over the years...

He's had one former teammate who plays for the K-Wings!  Sam Ftorek.  In his one and only stint in the AHL for the Manchester Monarchs in the 03-04 season.

Among his former/current Pens teammates, we have:

Tom Kostopoulos, the man with the best name in hockey.  Teammate from 04-05 in Manchester and then 05-06 in LA.

Mathieu Garon, practicing his killer dance moves for the celebratory after-party.  04-05 Manchester.

Chris Kunitz, THE man.  07-09 with Anaheim.  Also, the man we got for...

Whitters!  (2009 with the Ducks.)  I'd like to formally apologize.  Poor guy got traded just in time for us to WIN THE CUP.  I'm not apologizing for trading him.  I'm apologizing because I'm HAPPY we traded him.  Because we got Kuny.  (We totally got the better end of the deal.  ...  No offense.)

Erik Christensen.  Played end of 09 through 2010.  I almost put his headshot up.  Because it's adorable.  But I thought that him being near the goal with a puck would be more respectable.

Jarkko Ruutu.  10-11 with the Ducks.  This was the most appropriate picture I could find of him.  I thought that showing him doing fancy stick moves seemed inappropriate.

And last, but not least, but certainly not at the forefront of my brain, Nate Guenin.  Two games.  This season.  Before Mr. Guenin got sent down.  :(  (I would like to point out that Nate got a GOAL in his first game.  First NHL goal.  Kudos.)  Also, Nate Guenin is from Pittsburgh.  I hope they bonded.

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Goin' back.  Back in time.  (Cheesiest reference I have EVER used.)  College!  This is a good time to mention that Georgie here is a bit of a smarty-pants.  In fact, he was named to the "20 Smartest Athletes in Sports" list put out by the Sporting News last year.  He came in at number four.  George attended Princeton University

He obtained a degree in economics and he likes to do crossword puzzles.  But not the New York Times ones, because "they've got 16th century poets and stuff."  Way to show off your smarts, Georgie.  He likes the ones in USA Today.  Personally, crossword puzzles not edited by Will Shortz don't exist.  (I'm totally not a snob.  At all.  Nope.)  Also, my SAT score is only 250 points below his.  ...   I took it in the 6th grade.

An aside: Number three on the list is Ross Ohlendorf of the Pirates.  Nifty thrifty.  Also a Princeton grad, who was apparently reading Dorothy Sayers at the time of the interview.  And the only other hockey player to make the list?  Douglas Murray.  Who is one class away from graduating Cornell with a degree in hotel management.  (I don't know how long he's been waiting on the class, but I suppose there's not real rush.  What with the millions he's made playing hockey.)

The teammates that Parros and Murray picked as the smartest guys they've played with?  Jonas Hiller and Patrick Marleau.  Jonas Hiller speaks "five languages or something like that."

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Parros played one year of juniors before heading to college, with the Chicago Freeze.

Oh, wait.  Wrong team.  There are two Chicago Freeze teams.  This one ^  is the one in the National Gay Football League.  Awesome-sauce.  Obviously they're better photographed than George Parros' team was.  Since you'll have to be satisfied with a logo. 

At the end of Parros' season in juniors, he was drafted in the 1999 draft.  Things you should know about the 1999 NHL entry draft?  The Sedins were drafted 2, 3 by Vancouver (obviously).  The Penguins most notable draft picks: 1st round, Konstantin Koltsov, AKA Geno's number.  4th round, BUGSY MALONE!  Hometown boy.  7th round, Tom Kostopoulos (connections, connections).  Other interesting things...  1st overall was Patrik Stefan, who had stats at both ends of the spectrum and didn't really stick around.  Maybe there's a reason the Thrashers are now the Jets...  Why would you pass up a Sedin?  (Especially since I am, self-admittedly, not their biggest fan.)  Adam Hall was drafted in the 2nd round, 52nd overall, by the Nashville Predators.  [Current] hometown boy!  Why are they both in Tampa?  Really?  Who wants to live in warm weather year round and still get to play hockey?  Fun fact for you Red Wings fans.  (And if you're a Red Wings fan, I'm assuming you're reading this because you're also a K-Wings fan.  And that you already know this fact.)  Zetterberg was drafted this year.  7th round, 210th overall.  Also, he's the lowest-drafted NHL All-Star of this year's draft.

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The thing I should end with is, obviously, George Parros' Stanley Cup ring.  

Shiny.  (This makes me want to watch "Firefly."  Thanks, Kaylee.)

Parros played 54 seconds shy of a full period of hockey in the playoffs.  And no fights (?!?).  But, he got a pretty, shiny, heavy, expensive ring.  And got to lift the Cup.  Pretty sure that says it all.