Stars and the Moon and the Stanley Cup

I considered the possibility that it is too soon to start talking Stanley Cup.  And then I reconsidered.  Never too soon.  I have taken the last week to step back and recover from the major roster heart attacks.  (Obviously the Penguins organization was calmer about it than me.  Duh.)  No Jagr.  Who cares?  Not me.  Because Philly is gonna suck it up this season.  Feel free to quote me on that.  Not that I'm over-confident or over-optimistic or anything.

Which reminds me, Dan Bylsma's son?  My new favorite person.  I had forgotten until just now the comments about how optimistic the kid was for his Jack Adams win.  I found a gem of an article about Coach's wife, Mary Beth, and Bryan. 

Favorite part? This epicness: "During the Washington series Mary Beth asked Bryan if he wanted to take a few days off from school and attend a few of the games.  He passed.  'He said he was saving his days off from school to see the Stanley Cup finals.'"  This of course being in reference to the 2009 playoffs.  I love this kid.  Sigh.  We must be twins.  You know, the years apart and coming from different families kind of twins.

Speaking of the Stanley Cup, this year is going to be epic.  As per usual.  The roster is shaping up nicely.  Of course there's Cappy.  Who is going to be 100% healthy for the whole season.  And Geno (who, weirdly enough, doesn't have any other nicknames, courtesy of moi) is beyond ready for the season to start.  And STAALSY!  I think this is an appropriate time to state my rose-tinted predictions.
1.  Break the 50 point mark.  Fuck that.  Break the 60 point mark.
2.  9 shorties.
3.  Lead the team in +/-.
4.  Finally going to score on Carolina (aka, big brother).
5.  Play center to Geno's wing (and TK's)...(Sorry Cookie-monster!).
6.  Selke WINNER.
High enough expectations?  Nah.

Please, don't lose the ego that is evident in that picture.  If only to spur the achievement of previously stated goals.  Now, the one stipulation for these obvious premonitions?  No stealing goals from Cappy.

Which brings me to the bulk of this post.  Beginning with El Capitan himself.  To continue with being overly optimistic, since I obviously do not know how to do anything else, Sid Vicious will return from his silly concussion (DIE, STECKEL, DIE.  Also, Hedman.  No hard feelings.) picking up exactly where he left off and will be light years ahead of everyone else in goal scoring and points and overall coolness.  (That last comment was directed at Stamkos and Ovechkin.  I hate to break it to y'all, but Sidsters rocks my world waaaaay more.)  I think it might have something to do with this:

Not that I'm biased or something.  Or gloating and rubbing it in.  Not at all.  Also, despite the fact that Mr. Crosby only played half the season, he did have a category in which he LED at the end of the season.  This stat brought to you by Puck Daddy (refer to yahoo's nhl blogs): Points per game.
Sid: 1.61
D. Sedin: 1.27
Fun fact relating to this stat (also courtesy of PD) is that it is only the second time since the merger in '79 that a player other than Gretzky or Lemieux led the second place in PPG by more than 20%.  What was that?  The Next One?  I think so.

Moving on from Cros, we have his would-be linemates, Nealer and Kuny.  James Neal, a semi-recent acquisition, has done a lot to getting himself into the good graces of Penguins fans.  (At least, this Penguins fan.)  What with his flair for OT/SO goals at the beginning, I've decided he's kinda awesome.  By that, I mean a lot awesome.  I can't wait until he gets to play wing for Sidney.  (He's going to be put there at some point.)  It's going to be a thing of beauty.  Also, we have Kunitz.  As I have said before, I retract all previous statements concerning my dislike for him.  I am officially won over.  No further statements required.

I've already raved on about JStaal.  Now, I would normally not object to more, but I have a team to get through.  So.  Geno.  Who is going to be SO ready for the season to start.  (If you haven't already, check out the workout videos from Mike Kadar in Russia.)  Also, I'm feeling a little bad, because I'm pretty sure I treat the guy like a footnote on here.  It's just that you can only rave about so many star players in a post before you need to move on to the less-loved.  Or the D-men.  :P  Or both.  So, I'd like to take this opportunity to splurge on Monsieur Malkin for a moment.  For someone who has a crazily prolific photograph collection available on google, his wikipedia bio is decidedly sparse in silly facts.What I can tell you is that his parents are adorable and super-duper supportive, there are waaay too many pictures of him sticking his tongue down various girls' throats (Keep an eye out for camers, Geno!  If you need lessons, please refer to Cappy-pants.), there are way, waaay too many pictures of him with Hovechkin (no offense, but it's a little unsettling), he has the most adorably silly grin, and is hiLARious in interviews.  Evidence:

Thank you, Geno!  (As a side note, I'm trying to not be bitter about Maxime signing with the Flyers.  I can't remember if I discussed it in the last post or not.  I will miss Max.  I did not want the Pens to re-sign him.  I am still sad to see him go.  It sucks that he signed with an evil team.  It was a great career move for him.  Good luck in Philly, Max!  Y'all are gonna suck ass this season.  :D  End of.)  Anyway, Geno.  Funny, funny man.  I wish I understood Russian.  Which reminds me.  The one thing lacking in Pens 2011 off-season action?  The acquiring of a Russian BFF for Geno.  Or at least someone who speaks Russian.  Poor guy is all by his lonesome.  Малкин плюс Стаал будет равным блеском в этом сезоне.  Thank you, google translate.  (Also, un-thank you if it's wrong.)

Off-season dance moves for my boys look to be mostly done at this point.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm in limbo waiting for the K-Wings off-season to really get off the ground.  With most of the dust settled from Penguins moves, we're moving forward.  Without Talbot.  Without Godsy (The Stars?  Well, good luck to you.  I have no predictions of the Stars suck-iness this season.  So you've got one up on Maxime.).  Without Ruppers!  (I'm trying to not be super upset about this one.  Good for him for getting such a great deal with the Rangers.  I think you've only got .5 up on Maxime.  I can't very well NOT wish you bad luck.  With playing for the Rangers and all.  But, let's show off my math skillz: 

Rangers > Flyers.  

Not just because they have a Staal brother as part of the equation either.  Though it helps.)  Without some Baby Pens/call-ups (Corey Potter, Lansing native and awesomely magical name, to Edmonton where he might possibly get some playing time.  Brett Sterling, who played a good few games with the big team, to St. Louis where he can hang out with Osh.  Chris Conner, who had a BIG year with 60 games up, has defected to the enemy, a.k.a. the Red Wings.  Good luck.  I'm hoping to see you play at the end of September.)    

As per usual, I've become a little ADD writing this.  I was going to continue and talk about the rest of the team for next year (I'll just put a plug in for MISTERBENLOVEJOY here, as I need to show the D-men some love.  For those of you who don't know, because you haven't read previous posts obviously, MISTERBENLOVEJOY is pretty much king in my world.  This is the shirt I think everyone should own.

Yes, yes we can.  You see that black and blue ball growing on your head?  Anyways.  So he's king, you know, after Jordy.  And of course Sid and Mario have their own higher plane to live on.)  but instead I'm going to talk about the K-Wings.  And the Jr. K-Wings.  And maybe other things.  :D


First off, I'd like to say that I was severely lax (please, don't kill me!) in finding K-Wings hockey news.  Seeing as I only TODAY found out that Ryan Nie is going to Europe (Finland?  Maybe.  I forget.  Check out Pam Shebest's article on mlive.), Bryan Jurynec is going to ENGLAND (JEALOUS.), and BABYFACE IS GOING TO SWEDEN!  I kinda want to have a funeral.  No offence.  Because I'm sure these are all good career moves.  But, really?  No one else on the team has a nickname nearly as embarrassing as Mr. Fournier's (If you hadn't caught on, Babyface = Andrew Fournier.  Read previous posts for explanations.).  Calm.  Breathe.  Calm.  I swear.  I'm going to set aside my upsetness (note: I do know this is not a real word.) and do a little digging into their new teams.


First off, Ryan Nie.  Norway.  (Finland, Norway?  At least they were near.  Though I suppose a Norwegian doesn't want to be mistaken for a Finn.)  Lillehammer IK.  Notable things:  they play in the arena built for the 1994 Olympics, they have a couple former players playing for MODO (one of whom played for Columbus, Philly, and GR Griffins --> Tollefsen), and their captain last year was Gino Guyer (had a stellar postseason performance with the University of Minnesota Gophers his freshman year to help them to a NCAA title in 2003).  Speaking of the '94 Olympics.  I kinda sorta vaguely remember them!  (I was only...5 at the time.)  However, all I remember is the ice skating.  My Grandma Sue loves to watch the ice skating.  Also, it was a soap opera that year.  What with Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan.  Also, Oksana Baiul was brilliant.  And there were pretty, shiny outfits.  (I'm a girl.  I like pretty things.  Sue me.)  Anyway, good luck in Norway!  We'll miss you...and your amazing goal-tending...here in Kalamazoo, Ryan!


Bryan Jurynec.  Is going to England.  Fuckin awesome.  For him, I mean.  I may rag on him (in fact I did, in the last post) a bit, but that doesn't mean I want him GONE.  He'll be with the Coventry Blaze.  Who's logo has a DRAGON.

I likey.  Also, he gets to listen to Brits talk all the time.  Did I mention jealous?  Not that I think he particularly cares about that part.  


And Babyface!  Who the hell is supposed to be my favorite now?  First Mathieu Curadeau went away.  Then Versteeg got traded.  And now Fournier.  This isn't fair.  (The world obviously revolves around who my favorite players are.)  He'll be playing for Olofstrom IK.  (Excuse the incorrect spelling there.  I forget how to type an umlaut.)  On the plus side, they're the Steelers.  Which bodes well for him.  Also, he's on their website already.  Check it out: http://www.oik.se/  If you can read the site, you're either 1) Waaaay smarter and cooler than me.  2) Obviously Swedish.  or 3)  Both.  IF, for some crazy reason you're reading this and happen to be a fan of the Steelers (these ones, not the Pittsburgh Steelers, though that's acceptable as well), please cheer on Fournier/Babyface for me!  Now.  I found something precious.  Hearkening back to his Whaler days:

Nifty.


I have a couple things to wrap up.  

First of all, I got to go to a real, live hockey game today!  (So it was a scrimmage match.)  The Jr. K-Wings had their final try-out camp this week, culminating with a scrimmage match today.  It was pretty awesome.  (They're also pretty young.)  And I'm excited to supplement my hockey season with their games.  There was good talent, though I have no idea what their names are (probably for the best, so I don't get attached before they make the team).  Dad and I fell into rooting for the blue team.  Who lost.  Story of my frickin life. However...I liked what I saw in...numbers 10, 13, 18, 20, 24.  Also, the red team's goalie was pretty impressive.  And I really wanted to start laughing when there were two fights right at the beginning of the second period of play.  Good punches.  Obviously they didn't get the message from watching the NHL about not having to land all their punches.  IMPORTANT!:  IF YOU'RE IN KALAMAZOO AND DIDN'T KNOW, WE ARE GETTING A JUNIOR TEAM THIS SEASON.  There.  Bulletin done.  Check, check, check it out.  http://www.jrkwings.com

Secondly, I found this beyond awesome video.  Justin Taylor (K-Wing, not Queer As Folk character) vs. Dustin Jeffrey (Pittsburgh/Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguin who is awesome and will be returning) in juniors.  Whoo!

I'm impressed, Mr. Taylor.  This was definitely a find worth finding today.

Thirdly, umm, "Miracle" watched 3 times since last week.  It's definitely time for hockey season to start.

Fourthly, to return to my original topic, I predict a Stanley Cup this year.  Just to be on the optimistic side of things.  (Also, a Kelly Cup for my K-Wings.)  AND, to make matters better, hell NO, we will not be beating the Red Wings to do it.  They're not going to make it past the first round.  (This might be a good place to stop with predictions.  Although, I've already made them outlandish enough that if they all come true, I should set up a psychic business.)