The Life and Times of MISTERBENLOVEJOY + Music Moment Bonus!

Obviously I need better things to do in the off-season.  Like no off-season.  That'd be cool (by the viewers/fans standpoint only, I'd like to point out).  As it stands, I need a more focused topic.  My last couple posts have been all over the frickin map with a nice dose of ADD.  So I'm doing a player feature.  Firstly, there's a too much material out there to do one of Sid, Geno, or Staalsy.  Secondly, MISTERBENLOVEJOY is awesomeness personified.  (Awesomeness can be personified.  Just look to MISTERBENLOVEJOY for reference.)  Therefore, here we go.  Introductions all around.  I am Miriam.  Dork and musician and hockey fan extraordinaire. Born in Pittsburgh, Pa at McGee Women's Hospital.  Currently residing in enemy territory (a.k.a. Michigan).  This-

is MISTERBENLOVEJOY.  You may call him Ben, Lovejoy, Benny, Benny-boy, Benny-Love, B to the L, Lover, or MBL for short.  (Note: I take no responsibility for the ridiculousness of previously stated names and also refuse to take responsibility for it if you were to get punched in the face for calling him any of these names.  Though I would love to see someone call him "Lover" as a nickname for shits and giggles.)  This picture is the more mature version of MBL.  The differences being the haircut.  And the teensiest-weensiest bit of lost baby fat.  Pretty sure other than that it's a copy of his last team photo.

The life of MBL began on February 20, 1984 in Concord, New Hampshire.  (Thank you wikipedia.  For contributing greatly to the things that I would feel creepy for knowing off the top of my head.)  He has grown from that small, wee child into a 6'2", 215 lb hulking D-Man.  Unfortunately, because I picked a bottom D-pairing, young guy, there is not a flooding of cute childhood pictures available.  In lieu of that, here ya go.

 For the record, I have no clue who this kid really is.  Except that it was a better alternative than the kid in an Isles jersey flipping someone off.  (Thanks for being a good example to the world, Islanders fans.  Yes, that was sarcasm.  Gets yourself over its.)  The other things we should know about Benny-boy's childhood?  Son to Cari and Carl Lovejoy, older brother to Matt and Nick.  Both of whom play college sports.  Matt plays lacrosse for 2011 NCAA Champions, University of Virginia.

Poor Matt ended up having shoulder surgery in February (?) and was out for the rest of the season.  You notice I'm saying all this like I know something about lacrosse and follow college lacrosse.  I know that there's offense, defense, and midfielders (like soccer) and a goalie and mens' lacrosse is much more violent than womens' lacrosse.  Also, google is my friend (So is Tim, who briefly explained player positioning to me last week.).  Nick plays college hockey for...Dartmouth!

He's the one wearing numero two.  Just like big brother.  Except minus a one (Ben wore number 12 at Dartmouth).

And they all played high school hockey at Deerfield Academy at some point or another.  Also, MBL played lacrosse at Dartmouth.  As their (Ben and Nick) lacrosse careers were obviously not as important, there is very little info on them.  Except Ben played two years for Dartmouth.  I assume one or both of them also played in high school.  Feel free to be creeped out by my research.  This is a good place to mention that mom and pop Lovejoy is obviously where the boys get it from, what with Mama Lovejoy having played college lacrosse (as well as Auntie) and Papa Lovejoy having played college hockey. 

For further perusal at your own discretion:
An article about MISTERBENLOVEJOY in the school paper, the Deerfield Scroll.
Alumni article, called Band of Brothers, on the Deerfield Academy website.
A random facebook group that has nothing to do with any Lovejoys, and in fact was created by a rival school.  Please reference to it if you are in need of high school boy insults.  I cracked up.  Do not reference if your humor is somehow above vulgar language.

Moving on to MISTERBENLOVEJOY's professional career.  Undrafted.  Signed a contract following his senior year at Dartmouth to play for Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.  This is after he played five games for the Norfolk Admirals immediately following graduation.  It should also be noted that he turned down a contract with the Canadiens during his junior year to continue with his schooling.  Good on you!  Obviously it paid off, what with becoming a journalist and all.  Journalist, you say?  Yes.  To my complete and utter dismay, however, MISTERBENLOVEJOY's blog is no longer up.  There are a few smatterings of it on the web.  In places where people were thoughtful enough to post whole sections.  Before I entertain y'all with them, it should probably be noted that MBL, the professional writer, did these for the paper in Wilkes-Barre once a week and also posted them online.  I first discovered them via Puck Huffers before he'd really done much of anything up in the big club.  AND I DIED.  Absolutely hysterical.  And the beginnings of my current Ben Lovejoy Love.  (That's right, the love started off the ice.  And had very little to do with his hockey playing.  He has since made up for that by being an awesomely awesome hockey player.)  I think the entry is pretty epic.  If any of you are twitter addicts and you don't follow @BizNasty2point0, you should.  (Speaking of a place to look for high school/all boys insults.)  Now what does he have to do with Ben Lovejoy and journalism you ask?  MISTERBENLOVEJOY did an "interview" with him.  I know what you're thinking.  How can this possibly be good?  It just IS.  Please read.  Do not skip.

Q: Tell me about your heritage, Paul? Where is your family from?
A: I live in Welland, Ontario, which is in Canada. As for my heritage, it is kind of a complex mathematical equation. I’m ¼ African-American, 1/8 Mike Tyson, 2/7ths Caucasian, 1/15 Black Wrapper, 1/16th Coyote, and the rest of me is Canadian-Savage.

Q: You have an interesting nickname. Can you tell us about it?
A: When I was nine years old, my first girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too “nasty.” Just kidding, it is actually because of how horrible the tattoo on my arm looks. When I first came home with it, my mother was so disgusted with it she started calling me “Nasty.” When I started playing junior hockey, and was beating everyone up all the time, my teammates started calling me “Biznasty.”

Q: Tell me about your tattoos. Do they have any meaning?
A: The one on my arm is obviously a Halloween scene. It is really cool once a year, but the rest of the year, I really regret having it ‘cause it looks kind of dumb. I’m not really sure the significance of the one on my back. When Tiger Woods came on the scene, I realized it was cool to mix Black and Chinese cultures, so I had to get a Chinese symbol. I went to the tattoo parlor and asked for the biggest Chinese symbol I could possibly get. I’m not really sure what it means, but I also look pretty good without a shirt on.

Q: Many aspiring fighters often want to fight Dennis Bonvie because he was one of their role models growing up as young “meatheads.” Who were some of your role models growing up?
A: Apollo Creed.

Q: When you first came to Wilkes-Barre this year, you had an interesting haircut – a Mohawk. While you had this Mohawk, you seemed to be losing a lot of fights. Did you blame your lack of pugilistic success on that brutal haircut?
A: Much like the biblical character Samson, I seemed to have lost my strength when my hair was cut off. Luckily, hair grows quickly, and I am back to beating the crap out of people.

Q: You wear #20 for the Penguins. If you could wear any number, what number would you wear?
A: #103, but probably about #115 by the end of the year.

Q: Now that you are a skilled goal scorer, you have obviously stopped fighting. Imagine back to the days you were a tough guy and tell us, in a hypothetical fight between you and Dennis Bonvie, who wins?
A: I’d “one punch” that old man!

I am still unclear as to whether or not this is fake or not.  And only unclear, because let's be real, Paul Bissonette would totally say some of those things.

Following that epicness, it only gets better.  Now, you should totally and COMPLETELY take this article as a blatant suggestion.

A brilliant young writer once responded to an innocent question, “Hey Ben! I was just wondering what kind of music you listen to?” with a condescendingly arrogant retort, “Why, are you going to make me a mix tape? Am I in middle school?” Little did I now how those sarcastic words would come back to haunt me.
Fast forward a month later, and Brian Coe, our Director of Media Relations came to me before a game with a smirk that is seen solely when he has something funny to say. He handed me a mix tape that was made for me by a fan titled, “Songs About Love(joy).” I had a quick laugh and stashed the CD in my locker thinking that if we won, I would pull the CD out after the game and as a team we would laugh at the ridiculousness of the CD together. Unfortunately, we lost the game, so I took the CD to my car and put it into the player. What I heard over the speakers were eight of the most ridiculous songs I had ever listened to.
The first song on the disc was titled, “Tainted Love(joy)” by Soft Cell. The song was perfectly normal for about 45 seconds. It went through the start of the song just as it normally would as if I were listening to it on the radio. The first verse went by,
Sometimes I feel I’ve got to 

Run away I’ve got to

Get away 

From the pain that you drive into the heart of me 

The love we share 

Seems to go nowhere 

And I’ve lost my light
For I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night
This was pretty normal and I was not so sure where the CD was taking me…until the chorus started.
Once I ran to you (I ran)

Now I’ll run from you

This tainted love you’ve given

I give you all a boy could give you 

Take my tears and that’s not nearly all 

Then it happened…
Oh…tainted love(joy) 
Tainted love(joy)
Every time the word love was mentioned for the rest of the CD, the song would cut out and a voice would come on and say, “joy.” For the next 8 tracks on the CD, they all did this. It was one of the funniest, and creepiest, things I had ever heard. I was almost embarrassed that someone had taken the time to make a CD like this for me. After listening to the CD (not the whole thing, just skipping from track to track) I took it out and put it in the side panel of my car door where it stayed for a month or two.
Fast forward two months. Ryan Lannon is riding shotgun and his cell phone falls into the side panel of my car door. He digs for his phone and came up with the CD, and his face looks like he just hit the lottery. After a few delighted screams from him and a warning from me, he puts the CD in the dash and proceeds to listen to every word of every song. Tainted Love(joy), I’m all out of Love(joy), Addicted to Love(joy), and a few other classics.
Mr. Lannon obviously brought the CD into the locker room the next day, and it was played over and over for the rest of the season. This season, Danny Richmond has taken it to a new level. When I first got cut from Pittsburgh last month, the CD and case (which is decorated with pictures of me) were mounted on the top of our locker room’s stereo system. Since the day we all arrived, Mr. Richmond has played the CD every single day, he has burned copies of the CD for relatives, and he has copied it onto his Ipod so he can carry it around with him. At first I thought it was a joke, but since then he has taken it way too far. He is obsessed with the eight songs. So obsessed that he has asked me to seek out the maker and ask him for Volume II of the disc. He has his own wish list for the songs that will go on it though. His first choice? U2’s In the Name of Love(joy). It has gotten to the point where he no longer calls me by my real name. He simply refers to me as, “In the Name of Lovejoy” - only he sings it like Bono would.
Other tracks requested by Danny Richmond:
1.) Led Zeppelin – All of my Love(joy)
2.) Bob Marley - One Love(joy)
3.) Akon – I Wanna Love(joy) You
4.) Counting Crows – Accidentally in Love(joy)
5.) The Beatles – Hide your Love(joy) away
6.) Phil Collins – You can’t hurry Love(joy)
7.) U2 – In the Name of Love(joy)
8.) The Outfield – Use Your Love(joy)
9.) Rascal Flats – I Wanna Love(joy) You Outloud
I guess there is no real end to my story, other than for me to ask whoever did make that CD, if you could make a Volume II it would be greatly appreciated.

Quote of the Week: “You guys are going to Texas? That’s a long bus ride.” - Matt Lovejoy on being a semi-professional athlete.

That's right, I said suggestion.  I hope he gets mix tapes, like, every week.  Totally.  And OMJ, I just discovered that his blog is back up!  Read the rest of the epicness.  Yes, that was a command.  I suppose at some point we should discuss his actual hockey playing.  It's pretty good, I suppose.  ;)  Also, it only takes one video to see his first NHL goal and NHL fight.

I heart you lots and lots.  Thank you, JESUS, for having the HBO special filming during this.  (Yes, that is Mr. JStaal you see with his hand all wrapped and bandaged.)

Things I loved about MISTERBENLOVEJOY this season:
1.  We finally got to see why WBS Baby Pens signed him to a contract.  That confidence was not only sexy, but made things happen on the ice.  So much so that commentators actually talked about you a lot.  They were almost as obsessed as me.
2.  This is an excellent example of said confidence.  At least the most obvious.

3.  Nothing against Derryk Engelland (King of England), but I am so, so, so glad that MISTERBENLOVEJOY got the call so much this season.  Consider this little special my pitch for this trend to continue.
4.  Thanks for moments of brilliance (as seen in the above video) like this.

5.  The difference in the defensive play this season...wow.  Like previously stated, it was like a whole new player out there on the ice.  Responsibility, aggressiveness, creativity...  Umm, well, MISTERBENLOVEJOY was just damn exciting to watch.  Even when he wasn't scoring.  In fact, a shitton when he wasn't scoring.

Other miscellaneous facts concerning our MBL:
1.  He is married to Avery.  They just had their first anniversary.  And they look adorable together.

2.  You know you've made the big time when you google yourself and all of the results at least the first page are actually about you.  Congrats, Ben!
3.  Ben Lovejoy is Native American.  SEE!

This is actually a lovely pencil drawing done by Joe Belt of a pow-wow participant named Ben Lovejoy at a pow-wow in Albany in the '90s.  Impressive, though not my cup of tea as artwork goes.  This is more my thing, for future reference (you know, if you feel the need to buy me artwork):

If you can find a higher quality picture of this, check it out.  Charcoal painting by Gail Potocki entitled Bee.  It's a pretty giant piece in person.  Larger than life size.  And it won the grand prize at the 2011 West Michigan Area show.  An absolute piece of brilliance.  A stunner.
4.  (I know, I know.  Ben Lovejoy...)  Go check THIS Ben Lovejoy out.Obviously he hasn't gone much of anywhere.  Especially since I can't find him on youtube.  But listen to the first song, "Exposed."  I quite like.
5.  The real MISTERBENLOVEJOY grew up a fan of Ray Bourque.  Funsies.
6.  He also was a teammate of which current Pittsburgh/WBS Penguin at Dartmouth?.......
.....
.....
.....
.....Nick Johnson!
That's right.  The boys were college teammates. Nifty thrifty.
7.  There is a British photographer named Ben Lovejoy.  Some nice work.  I particular like the body lines and silhouettes he gets.
8.  There is a tea shop in San Francisco called Lovejoy's Tea Room.  I want to go.  It looks superdeduper adorable.
9.  MISTERBENLOVEJOY is entirely too scandal-free.  I suppose I should look at that as a good thing.


Music moment of the day: FREELANCE WHALES (I've decided as a musician who is a hockey fan, why the hell don't I talk about who music more?  You know, aside from the music references in my titles.).  I've been on a serious Glee kick for the last few days.  Which led to interviews, which led to rewatching A Very Potter Musical and sequel, which led to Darren Criss videos, which led to the discovery of his brother's band, Freelance Whales.  Now, it is a mystery to me as to how I've never heard them before.  Especially since they're seriously right up my alley.  (And in a good way.  Like, good and quality music kind of way.  I think they're going to go on my playlist with Mumford and Sons, The Kooks, The Swell Season, and Simon & Garfunkel.  It's a pretty damn fabulous playlist.  No lies.)  Take a listen.  Or two.

Now, if you are reading this blog because you are a hockey fan and you just skipped all that, GO BACK!  Because it's awesome and should not be skipped.  :D

P.S.  If y'all didn't yet, you should get yo ass to the Pens website to check out Geno's training vids from Russia.  There's a Sergei Gonchar cameo which is hysterical.  (For the record, I liked Gonch, but I am still very happy we did not re-sign him.)

P.P.S.  It occurred to me a couple days ago that with Mike Richards (Cappy's BFF from Team Canada) going to the Kings he is going to be playing with Cappy's BFF from Shattuck, Mr. Jack Johnson.  I find that to be an unfair advantage to the Kings and super awesome all at the same time.

P.P.P.S.  I know people actually read cuz people tell me they actually read.  Feedback would be appreciated.  Comments, criticism, appreciation.  :D  No pressure or anything.

That's all for now, folks!

Stars and the Moon and the Stanley Cup

I considered the possibility that it is too soon to start talking Stanley Cup.  And then I reconsidered.  Never too soon.  I have taken the last week to step back and recover from the major roster heart attacks.  (Obviously the Penguins organization was calmer about it than me.  Duh.)  No Jagr.  Who cares?  Not me.  Because Philly is gonna suck it up this season.  Feel free to quote me on that.  Not that I'm over-confident or over-optimistic or anything.

Which reminds me, Dan Bylsma's son?  My new favorite person.  I had forgotten until just now the comments about how optimistic the kid was for his Jack Adams win.  I found a gem of an article about Coach's wife, Mary Beth, and Bryan. 

Favorite part? This epicness: "During the Washington series Mary Beth asked Bryan if he wanted to take a few days off from school and attend a few of the games.  He passed.  'He said he was saving his days off from school to see the Stanley Cup finals.'"  This of course being in reference to the 2009 playoffs.  I love this kid.  Sigh.  We must be twins.  You know, the years apart and coming from different families kind of twins.

Speaking of the Stanley Cup, this year is going to be epic.  As per usual.  The roster is shaping up nicely.  Of course there's Cappy.  Who is going to be 100% healthy for the whole season.  And Geno (who, weirdly enough, doesn't have any other nicknames, courtesy of moi) is beyond ready for the season to start.  And STAALSY!  I think this is an appropriate time to state my rose-tinted predictions.
1.  Break the 50 point mark.  Fuck that.  Break the 60 point mark.
2.  9 shorties.
3.  Lead the team in +/-.
4.  Finally going to score on Carolina (aka, big brother).
5.  Play center to Geno's wing (and TK's)...(Sorry Cookie-monster!).
6.  Selke WINNER.
High enough expectations?  Nah.

Please, don't lose the ego that is evident in that picture.  If only to spur the achievement of previously stated goals.  Now, the one stipulation for these obvious premonitions?  No stealing goals from Cappy.

Which brings me to the bulk of this post.  Beginning with El Capitan himself.  To continue with being overly optimistic, since I obviously do not know how to do anything else, Sid Vicious will return from his silly concussion (DIE, STECKEL, DIE.  Also, Hedman.  No hard feelings.) picking up exactly where he left off and will be light years ahead of everyone else in goal scoring and points and overall coolness.  (That last comment was directed at Stamkos and Ovechkin.  I hate to break it to y'all, but Sidsters rocks my world waaaaay more.)  I think it might have something to do with this:

Not that I'm biased or something.  Or gloating and rubbing it in.  Not at all.  Also, despite the fact that Mr. Crosby only played half the season, he did have a category in which he LED at the end of the season.  This stat brought to you by Puck Daddy (refer to yahoo's nhl blogs): Points per game.
Sid: 1.61
D. Sedin: 1.27
Fun fact relating to this stat (also courtesy of PD) is that it is only the second time since the merger in '79 that a player other than Gretzky or Lemieux led the second place in PPG by more than 20%.  What was that?  The Next One?  I think so.

Moving on from Cros, we have his would-be linemates, Nealer and Kuny.  James Neal, a semi-recent acquisition, has done a lot to getting himself into the good graces of Penguins fans.  (At least, this Penguins fan.)  What with his flair for OT/SO goals at the beginning, I've decided he's kinda awesome.  By that, I mean a lot awesome.  I can't wait until he gets to play wing for Sidney.  (He's going to be put there at some point.)  It's going to be a thing of beauty.  Also, we have Kunitz.  As I have said before, I retract all previous statements concerning my dislike for him.  I am officially won over.  No further statements required.

I've already raved on about JStaal.  Now, I would normally not object to more, but I have a team to get through.  So.  Geno.  Who is going to be SO ready for the season to start.  (If you haven't already, check out the workout videos from Mike Kadar in Russia.)  Also, I'm feeling a little bad, because I'm pretty sure I treat the guy like a footnote on here.  It's just that you can only rave about so many star players in a post before you need to move on to the less-loved.  Or the D-men.  :P  Or both.  So, I'd like to take this opportunity to splurge on Monsieur Malkin for a moment.  For someone who has a crazily prolific photograph collection available on google, his wikipedia bio is decidedly sparse in silly facts.What I can tell you is that his parents are adorable and super-duper supportive, there are waaay too many pictures of him sticking his tongue down various girls' throats (Keep an eye out for camers, Geno!  If you need lessons, please refer to Cappy-pants.), there are way, waaay too many pictures of him with Hovechkin (no offense, but it's a little unsettling), he has the most adorably silly grin, and is hiLARious in interviews.  Evidence:

Thank you, Geno!  (As a side note, I'm trying to not be bitter about Maxime signing with the Flyers.  I can't remember if I discussed it in the last post or not.  I will miss Max.  I did not want the Pens to re-sign him.  I am still sad to see him go.  It sucks that he signed with an evil team.  It was a great career move for him.  Good luck in Philly, Max!  Y'all are gonna suck ass this season.  :D  End of.)  Anyway, Geno.  Funny, funny man.  I wish I understood Russian.  Which reminds me.  The one thing lacking in Pens 2011 off-season action?  The acquiring of a Russian BFF for Geno.  Or at least someone who speaks Russian.  Poor guy is all by his lonesome.  Малкин плюс Стаал будет равным блеском в этом сезоне.  Thank you, google translate.  (Also, un-thank you if it's wrong.)

Off-season dance moves for my boys look to be mostly done at this point.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm in limbo waiting for the K-Wings off-season to really get off the ground.  With most of the dust settled from Penguins moves, we're moving forward.  Without Talbot.  Without Godsy (The Stars?  Well, good luck to you.  I have no predictions of the Stars suck-iness this season.  So you've got one up on Maxime.).  Without Ruppers!  (I'm trying to not be super upset about this one.  Good for him for getting such a great deal with the Rangers.  I think you've only got .5 up on Maxime.  I can't very well NOT wish you bad luck.  With playing for the Rangers and all.  But, let's show off my math skillz: 

Rangers > Flyers.  

Not just because they have a Staal brother as part of the equation either.  Though it helps.)  Without some Baby Pens/call-ups (Corey Potter, Lansing native and awesomely magical name, to Edmonton where he might possibly get some playing time.  Brett Sterling, who played a good few games with the big team, to St. Louis where he can hang out with Osh.  Chris Conner, who had a BIG year with 60 games up, has defected to the enemy, a.k.a. the Red Wings.  Good luck.  I'm hoping to see you play at the end of September.)    

As per usual, I've become a little ADD writing this.  I was going to continue and talk about the rest of the team for next year (I'll just put a plug in for MISTERBENLOVEJOY here, as I need to show the D-men some love.  For those of you who don't know, because you haven't read previous posts obviously, MISTERBENLOVEJOY is pretty much king in my world.  This is the shirt I think everyone should own.

Yes, yes we can.  You see that black and blue ball growing on your head?  Anyways.  So he's king, you know, after Jordy.  And of course Sid and Mario have their own higher plane to live on.)  but instead I'm going to talk about the K-Wings.  And the Jr. K-Wings.  And maybe other things.  :D


First off, I'd like to say that I was severely lax (please, don't kill me!) in finding K-Wings hockey news.  Seeing as I only TODAY found out that Ryan Nie is going to Europe (Finland?  Maybe.  I forget.  Check out Pam Shebest's article on mlive.), Bryan Jurynec is going to ENGLAND (JEALOUS.), and BABYFACE IS GOING TO SWEDEN!  I kinda want to have a funeral.  No offence.  Because I'm sure these are all good career moves.  But, really?  No one else on the team has a nickname nearly as embarrassing as Mr. Fournier's (If you hadn't caught on, Babyface = Andrew Fournier.  Read previous posts for explanations.).  Calm.  Breathe.  Calm.  I swear.  I'm going to set aside my upsetness (note: I do know this is not a real word.) and do a little digging into their new teams.


First off, Ryan Nie.  Norway.  (Finland, Norway?  At least they were near.  Though I suppose a Norwegian doesn't want to be mistaken for a Finn.)  Lillehammer IK.  Notable things:  they play in the arena built for the 1994 Olympics, they have a couple former players playing for MODO (one of whom played for Columbus, Philly, and GR Griffins --> Tollefsen), and their captain last year was Gino Guyer (had a stellar postseason performance with the University of Minnesota Gophers his freshman year to help them to a NCAA title in 2003).  Speaking of the '94 Olympics.  I kinda sorta vaguely remember them!  (I was only...5 at the time.)  However, all I remember is the ice skating.  My Grandma Sue loves to watch the ice skating.  Also, it was a soap opera that year.  What with Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan.  Also, Oksana Baiul was brilliant.  And there were pretty, shiny outfits.  (I'm a girl.  I like pretty things.  Sue me.)  Anyway, good luck in Norway!  We'll miss you...and your amazing goal-tending...here in Kalamazoo, Ryan!


Bryan Jurynec.  Is going to England.  Fuckin awesome.  For him, I mean.  I may rag on him (in fact I did, in the last post) a bit, but that doesn't mean I want him GONE.  He'll be with the Coventry Blaze.  Who's logo has a DRAGON.

I likey.  Also, he gets to listen to Brits talk all the time.  Did I mention jealous?  Not that I think he particularly cares about that part.  


And Babyface!  Who the hell is supposed to be my favorite now?  First Mathieu Curadeau went away.  Then Versteeg got traded.  And now Fournier.  This isn't fair.  (The world obviously revolves around who my favorite players are.)  He'll be playing for Olofstrom IK.  (Excuse the incorrect spelling there.  I forget how to type an umlaut.)  On the plus side, they're the Steelers.  Which bodes well for him.  Also, he's on their website already.  Check it out: http://www.oik.se/  If you can read the site, you're either 1) Waaaay smarter and cooler than me.  2) Obviously Swedish.  or 3)  Both.  IF, for some crazy reason you're reading this and happen to be a fan of the Steelers (these ones, not the Pittsburgh Steelers, though that's acceptable as well), please cheer on Fournier/Babyface for me!  Now.  I found something precious.  Hearkening back to his Whaler days:

Nifty.


I have a couple things to wrap up.  

First of all, I got to go to a real, live hockey game today!  (So it was a scrimmage match.)  The Jr. K-Wings had their final try-out camp this week, culminating with a scrimmage match today.  It was pretty awesome.  (They're also pretty young.)  And I'm excited to supplement my hockey season with their games.  There was good talent, though I have no idea what their names are (probably for the best, so I don't get attached before they make the team).  Dad and I fell into rooting for the blue team.  Who lost.  Story of my frickin life. However...I liked what I saw in...numbers 10, 13, 18, 20, 24.  Also, the red team's goalie was pretty impressive.  And I really wanted to start laughing when there were two fights right at the beginning of the second period of play.  Good punches.  Obviously they didn't get the message from watching the NHL about not having to land all their punches.  IMPORTANT!:  IF YOU'RE IN KALAMAZOO AND DIDN'T KNOW, WE ARE GETTING A JUNIOR TEAM THIS SEASON.  There.  Bulletin done.  Check, check, check it out.  http://www.jrkwings.com

Secondly, I found this beyond awesome video.  Justin Taylor (K-Wing, not Queer As Folk character) vs. Dustin Jeffrey (Pittsburgh/Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguin who is awesome and will be returning) in juniors.  Whoo!

I'm impressed, Mr. Taylor.  This was definitely a find worth finding today.

Thirdly, umm, "Miracle" watched 3 times since last week.  It's definitely time for hockey season to start.

Fourthly, to return to my original topic, I predict a Stanley Cup this year.  Just to be on the optimistic side of things.  (Also, a Kelly Cup for my K-Wings.)  AND, to make matters better, hell NO, we will not be beating the Red Wings to do it.  They're not going to make it past the first round.  (This might be a good place to stop with predictions.  Although, I've already made them outlandish enough that if they all come true, I should set up a psychic business.) 

The Dashing of Dreams...and the Intactness (?) of BFFs.

So a lot of things have happened over the last few days...trades, signings, free agency.  You know...the dying of DREAMS.  Personally, the biggest news of the week was Paul Kariya's retirement.  (I swear to God, he's a vampire!)  The line I've been impossibly dreaming of (Selanne-Crosby-Kariya) is now no longer a possibility.  Because it obviously was before.  Just LOOK!

Now imagine all that intensity on ONE LINE.  Don't bother telling me how unrealistic this dream has always been.  I know.  I just like to dream BIG.  Like...really big.  Impossibly big. 

The other thing about Paul Kariya I would like to mention, as I did earlier, is my theory on his vampiric qualities.  First of all, he doesn't age!  I swear...he does not age.  Lookie, lookie!

No aging.  It's a little creepy.  Therefore: vampire.  My theory is he's retiring until people forget what he looked like and then he is going to make a comeback.  At the same age he originally started at.  It's like Twilight.  (Don't judge.  Those are the most hysterical works to come out of this decade.  And I mean hysterical, not brilliant.  Or maybe brilliantly hysterical.)

On to the second DEAD DREAM.  Jagr and Crosby playing together.  On the ice.  At the same time.  Just picture the brilliance.  And then picture that brilliance being dashed.  Into millions of tiny pieces.  And then picture Jagr in a Cryer's jersey taking a face-off against Sid.  And then laugh when Philly doesn't even make the playoffs (now we're entering fantasy land).  I refuse to allow pictures to accompany this information.  Although this does seem like a good moment to mention Maxime's defection as well.  To be clear, I did not want the Penguins to re-sign Talbot.  He was not worth it and I agree with not offering him a long term contract like he wanted.  I think Philly was over-zealous and overly optimistic with their contract.  No offense to Max Talbot, but I think his contract is worth more than him.  He's a clutch player in the playoffs.  Sometimes.  But I wasn't nearly as impressed with his overall performance in the regular season.  He never quite lived up to his potential.  As funny and hilarious as he is.

The Flyers have been headlining the other news as well this week.  What with their crazy trades to make room for Bryz (who just lost some points in my estimation, even if it is a good career move), plethora of signings (such an overused word, but it fit), and general icky Flyer-ness.  On the plus side, I may grow to like Mike Richards one day.  The Kings make the good list, so that might just rub off on him. 

Just ignore the ugly uniform.  Imagine one with a crown instead.

Unfortunately for Jeff Carter, I can't say the same for him.  Maybe just a lessening of dislike.  The Blue Jackets are not fortunate enough to be on my good list.  For some reason, I just CANNOT bring myself to like Rick Nash.  And this of course rubs off on the rest of the team.

Enough about the Flyers.  I may need to go hurl if I keep talking about them.  Also unfortunately, most of the other major trades and signings involve teams I dislike.  Washington.  Detroit.  Rangers.  I don't know why they suddenly made my list of dislike, because I've always secretly (or not so secretly) liked them.  I think it's the Staal effect.  It's probably because they now have Mike Rupp and we don't.

If you've been reading my previous posts (Which if you're not, you totally should.  Because they're brill.) you'll remember that I made a pitch to keep Mike Rupp.  Because he's awesome.  Unfortunately it looks like the Penguins told him they would not be extending him an offer (I'm assuming this, as he had stated that he would like to stay in Pitt.) and he signed a long term deal with the Rangers.  We'll miss you Ruppers!  Please try not to damage us too much when you play us.  Much appreciated.

In other GOOD news, the return of Mr. President is assured!

Get excited.  This is possibly the most important signing of the Pen's 2011 off-season.  And he got a well-deserved pay raise.  $4 million over 2 years.  Not bad TK, not bad.  Also, I would be upset if management got rid of Staalsy-boy's BFF.  Rude.  That's what it would be.  Hopefully they'll keep them together on the same line next season as well.  95 days until the first game of the regular season.  So close.  I'm forseeing many watchings of Miracle, Sid highlights, Geno highlights, old games, Jorday highlights, highlights in general, more Miracle, maybe some MD between now and then.

I think my brain is almost done functioning.  (It obviously was done functioning many, many hours ago, but I felt the need to pound this one out.)  So it's probably best if I leave more reactions for another day.  Let's leave with a beauty.