Predictions: Penguins 2014-15

So I need to actually sleep tonight. Instead I'm going to lay out my backseat driving for the GM.

KEEP:
Crosby
Kunitz
Dupuis
Malkin
Neal
Bennett
Letang
Bortuzzo
Maatta
Zatkoff

RESIGN:
Jokinen
Megna
Gibbons
Niskanen
Despres
Vokoun

SIGN:
Carcillo
Miller
Subban

TRADE:
Fleury for Kesler
Adams, Dumoulin, Ebbett for Abdelkader

BUYOUT:
Martin

It plays out like this (with my estimates for a fair cap hit):

Current Roster (being kept) Salary: $41,044,167
Jokinen: $3,000,000
Megna: $850,000
Gibbons: $700,000
Niskanen: $2,500,000
Despres: $900,000
Vokoun: $1,750,000
Carcillo: $875,000
Miller: $7,500,000
Subban: $3,500,000
Kesler: $5,000,000
Abdelkader: $1,800,000

TOTAL SALARY: $69,419,167

It's a tight fit, but I think with the right negotiations, it could actually work. :)

The Role of Beauty: Environmental Movements and Human Rights

A forewarning: This is completely unrelated to hockey. There. You have been warned. I did say this could happen. Also as a warning, this is tooting my own horn a bit. I recently won first prize in my school's essay contest. I'm only a little proud. I didn't think I had a chance to win this, but I did! This came about as a sort of amalgamation of all the subjects I studied in the fall semester. So, without further ado...

The Role of Beauty:

Environmental Movements and Human Rights

Humans have long found beauty in their surrounding environment. The natural world has inspired poetry, art, music, fashion, scientific progress, and more. This idea of seeing beauty in nature and using it to create and invent is what keeps humans fully connected to the world they live in. We have an innate and deep-seated connection to the nature that surrounds us. Problems occur when we lose our understanding of this connection; so-called progress strips function and beauty from nature. Because human beings depend so much on nature, it follows that there is an apparent connection between human rights movements and environmental rights movements. This relationship between nature and humanity is a major focus of the Transcendentalist movement of the Nineteenth Century.

Paul Hawken’s Blessed Unrest, which delves in to the equivalence of the environmental movements and social justice movements of today’s global community, brings the Transcendentalist movement into alignment with the social movements of today’s world. In particular, Hawken emphasizes two Transcendentalists, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau, who illustrate this dichotomy of the abstract and the concrete and the basis of a global social movement within the counterpoints of their works: Emerson’s “Nature” and Thoreau’s “Civil Disobedience.”

Both Emerson and Thoreau focused much of their work on nature and spirituality. At the time, to be educated was to be interested and knowledgeable about not just politics, but also philosophy, religion, art, poetry, and a vast array of culture. These topics all connected to each other. They were not exclusive, independent parts of culture. This interconnectedness is the key to understanding the viewpoint of the Transcendentalist. It was not a narrow, one-dimensional view. In addition, they each provided commentary on the social and moral issues faced by society.

Emerson and Thoreau did not, however, agree on everything. In 1836, Thoreau was a senior at Harvard University when he read Emerson’s “Nature” and from this found a mentor and a new way of thinking (Hawken, 2008, p. 74). Originally published anonymously, Emerson never expected it to resonate as well as it did. Emerson questions and analyzes that from which humanity derives. Any query as to what nature is or does is also a query concerning our own origins. Because of this, the question Emerson Asks, “To what end is nature?” becomes a question not only about nature but also about understanding our place in this world (1836/1983, p. 7). Emerson asserts, “Nature, in its ministry to man, is not only the material, but is also the process and the result” and that the arts—those things changed and affected by humans—“are reproductions or new combinations by the wit of man” (p. 12). In other words, those things that are distinctly “other,” that are not of nature, are just imitations by humans of nature. Human beings are merely creating an artificial nature to do what nature creates, but at our own whim and on our own schedule. Everything belongs to or imitates nature. This awareness of our connection to nature, that “we are nature, literally, in every molecule and neuron,” speaks not only of a connection of the physical to nature, but also to the spiritual and abstract (Hawken, p. 71).

            Emerson’s and Thoreau’s different approaches to many of the same topics exhibit progress and creativity within the Transcendentalist movement. Progress with creativity was a key idea in the thinking of architect Alden B. Dow. On a recent trip to Midland, Michigan, I had the opportunity to visit his home and studio. In addition to his profession as an architect, Dow was also an amateur philosopher. Everything about his design takes into account both the functionality and beauty of the interior with the context of the exterior and surroundings. Dow believed that the buildings he created should inspire the same creativity present in his buildings within those who experienced it and that everyone is obligated “to make his surroundings more beautiful” (Maddex, 2007, p. 68). I find his concepts of interconnectedness and inspiration align closely with the ideas of the Transcendentalists. Dow had a variety of different precepts included in his philosophy, but most of them centered on the idea of his buildings being connected to the environment that they are in. The outside becomes part of the inside and the design does not end at the outer walls.

            For his design, Dow sought and found much inspiration from the organic shapes around him. One of Dow’s favorite sayings was that “nature relieves architecture. Architecture relieves nature” (Maddex, 2007, p. 5). He saw nature as a continuance of the man-made structures—the architecture. He saw that same architecture as a continuance of nature. Nature and architecture have a complementary relationship.

            In the same way, nature and civilization have a complementary relationship. As human beings, we have a symbiotic relationship with the nature that we live in. When we respect that idea, we are at harmony with the natural world. Emerson and Thoreau, among many other Transcendentalists, wrestled with this symbiosis and the effects new technology had on that relationship. In much of Emerson’s early writing, “he praised the progress that came from technological achievements” (Lumpkin, 2006). As time passed, he became “troubled by the role of technology, and its affects on man and nature, in promoting commerce [and] as a result, his attention turned to man’s responsibility in containing technology” (Lumpkin). Contrary to what might be assumed, Emerson had a similar idea about the role of nature and its effects. In Emerson’s view, “intellect was primary and nature was secondary,” and he saw human beings as separate as and more important than nature (Lumpkin). Nature was a tool to be used to further civilized life.

            Emerson had an entirely idealistic view of technology and industrialization. He saw it as a way to enhance or use nature. He “felt the development and uses of technology represented the highest expression of man’s intellect” and, because intellect was primary to nature, to be opposed to technology “was unimaginable” (Lumpkin, 2006).

            One of the largest positive outcomes of Transcendentalist thought came about by way of social reform. Intellect as a primary concern meant that education and original thought were important. As such, class division and racial segregation became targets for the Transcendentalist reformers. This was the single largest push for broad spectrum reform in American history. Reformers created “single-issue reform movements, pushing for temperance, prison reform, educational reform, changes in debtor laws, and the abolition of slavery” among many other issues (Newman, 2005, p. 41). Women’s rights, worker’s rights, African-American’s rights were all issues that were born into movements during this time. Indeed, the Transcendentalist movement itself was actually spurred into being because of the radical working-class movement in New England just prior to the Civil War.

            Although Emerson was a proponent of these radical social changes, his approach to the culmination of these changes differed from that of his follower, Thoreau. Where Emerson saw the change coming from educated leadership and connecting with the “divinely ordained laws of nature,” Thoreau, though he does not depart from this idea, takes it to a more extreme level (Newman, 2005, p. 42). Thoreau called for civil disobedience as a responsibility, not just a right. A number of years after Thoreau first encountered Emerson’s work and Emerson himself, Thoreau refused to pay a poll tax and spent a night in the Middlesex County Jail. Eighteen months after that night, Thoreau pontificated on “The Rights and Duties of the Individual in Relation to the Government,” which would later be published as “Civil Disobedience” (Hawken, 2008, p. 74-76). Thoreau’s assertions of a wish for “every man [to] make known what kind of government would command his respect” and as a result they “[would] be one step toward obtaining it” (1849/1965, p. 636) shows not only his passion for supporting what he believes to be right and withholding support from what he believes to be wrong, but also his belief in “human interdependency, a belief that called out for a willingness to respond to moral imperatives, however distant” (Hawken, p. 76). Thoreau’s interpretations and ideas respond to what Emerson began in “Nature.” He saw “the connectedness Emerson experienced in the natural world” and “saw [it] in the human world” (Hawken, p. 76). Emerson was to Thoreau an inspiration and mentor and Thoreau treated their relationship as such. He internalized and immersed himself in Emerson’s philosophies and used them to further his own understanding of the world, thus allowing us to further our understanding of the world.

            We use the past so-called radical movements as foundations for new understandings of the world. Bill McKibben, a contemporary activist who takes this connectedness and applies it to today’s world, has many times been called radical. He believes that there is “nothing radical at all” about the environmental movements he supports (lecture, October 10, 2013). He’s right. The ideas of conservation and moderation are very old and appear as broad ideas in the Transcendentalist movement and throughout history. Although we, as human beings, are facing a more and more extreme problem with climate change, environmental movements, and environmental and human interconnectedness are as old as human history.

            This old connection can be seen in the way we have assimilated nature into culture. Culture tends to center around the arts—music, visual art, poetry, language. In all of these, nature is the dominant presence. Before we had the written word, we had art that depicted natural events and places. Many of the Transcendentalists saw themselves more as poets than as activists. Thoreau focused the “first decade of his life as a write” on poetry; he believed himself a poet before anything else (Newman, 2005, p. 84). Thoreau produced a multitude of poetry exclusively on nature or exclusively on social issues, but he kept nature as a visual for abstract ideas, a way to connect that which is hard to understand with something universal and concrete. In a poem about women, Thoreau’s language remains centered around nature:

                        Ive seen ye, sisters, on the mountain side

                        When your green mantles fluttered in the wind

                        Ive seen your foot-prints on the lake’s smooth shore

                        Lesser than man’s, a more ethereal trace,

                        Ive heard of ye as some far-famed race—

                        Daughters of god whom I should one day meet—

                        Or mothers I might say of all our race. (Newman, 2005, p. 93)

While beautiful, Thoreau’s way of personifying nature is not original to him. We have seen this personification of nature in the culture of all civilizations. The religions of the Greeks and Romans upheld the godlike power of nature. Most ancient cultures had a reverence for that which provided for them. They saw nature as a gift. This differs greatly from how Emerson wrote about nature and how we see nature today as a society. Emerson believed nature was a tool. We believe nature is an adversary.

            Americans are used to an adversarial justice system, and I believe that this overflows into how we view the world around us. We have to fight against communism. We have to fight against climate change. We have to fight against socialism. There is always something we are fighting against. To look at the challenges we face today from a more Transcendentalist point of view, we would be fighting for something. Fight for civil rights of oppressed people. Fight for nature. Fight for individualism and the well-being of all people. How we understand where we connect to the world affects how much we consider when deciding on actions.

            There are some cultures that have preserved the concept of a barrier-free relationship with nature, who have not allowed “evolution” and “progress” to compartmentalize that which is so fundamentally connected. These cultures, what Paul Hawken includes as the third portion of his social movement, are the indigenous cultures of the world. They marry nature, humanity, and the preservation of both into a single idea—a single, unified movement.

            An avenue to return to this singular movement is through the appreciation of beauty. Like Alden Dow, we can learn to incorporate beauty that already exists into our lives. To see beauty in our differences can help to heal social rifts. Beauty, as seen by Emerson, “in its largest and profoundest sense, is one expression for the universe” (1836/1983, p. 19). Internalizing and understanding beauty is a path to understanding the world and how we live in the world, not apart from it.

            Whether the Transcendentalist movement marked a point in time where we understood and distinguished how the ecological woes of the world and the human woes are one and the same or if it marked a point in time where we became aware of a distancing of the two problems within the social consciousness, it shows us a way of thinking that we can build upon to better appreciate the beauty we live in. Emerson and Thoreau both had a primal understanding of nature and the way in which we are not just connected to it but are part of it.

References

Emerson, R. W. (1983). Nature. In R. W. Emerson (Author) & J. Porte (Ed.), Essays and lectures (pp. 5-49). New York: The Library of America. (Original work published 1836)

Hawken, P. (2008). Blessed unrest: How the largest social movement in history is restoring grace, justice, and beauty to the world. New York: Penguin.

Lumpkin, G.T. (2006). The promise of technology versus the pastoral ideal: Ralph waldow emerson’s conflict over the role of mankind in nature. International Journal of Humanities and Peace, 22(1), 45-46.

Maddex, D. (2007). Alden B. Dow: Midwestern modern. Midland, MI: Alden B. Dow Home and Studio.

McKibben, B. (Presenter). (2013, October 10). Notes from the Front Lines of the Climate Fight. Lecture presented at the Changing Climates Speaker Series, Western Michigan University, Kalamazoo, MI.

Newman, L. (2005). Our common dwelling: Henry Thoreau, transcendentalism, and the class politics of nature. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

Thoreau, H. D. (1965). Civil disobedience. In H. D. Thoreau (Author) & B. Atkinson (Ed.), Walden and other writings of henry david Thoreau (pp. 633-659). New York: The Modern Library. (Original work published 1849)

New Leaf! (Please, please, do not imagine the Leafs when you read this.)

Life has finally gotten under a semblance of control for me and I'm in a writing class this semester. Therefore, I'm obviously inspired to start writing again. Yes!!!

There are a couple of pieces of business to address first.

1. MISTERBENLOVEJOY.

A moment of silence (long overdue) for the loss of MISTERBENLOVEJOY to the Anaheim Ducks. He has been, and will continue to be, missed. But take a look at that nifty lookin' "A" on the sweater! Good on you! Despite the loss of my favorite D-man love(joy), I am glad to see him getting the chance to be top 4 and playing well.

2. Voky.

Acquiring Tomas Vokoun from the Caps was a genius move. (Oh, Johnny!) Flower needed that strong, veteran WALL. Voky should get a classy standing ovation for the shitholes he's pulled us out of. That said, now we are without him for months while he deals with a blood clot issue. Hopefully he'll recover well!

3. Umm...this happened.

Sid, Sid, Sid. Keep your pretty face away from super crazy flying hunks of frozen rubber. Please and thank you. Some of his first interviews after the incident, I was so distracted by the fact that his jaw was a different shape I couldn't even focus on what he was saying. Thank the Lord, his noggin is fully recovered and he's better than ever.

4. The Great Re-alignment.

The league has a new look. If you want an explanation for how it all works, I'm pretty sure there's a press release somewhere. The important happy awesomeness that comes from this: Detroit and Columbus are now in our Conference. Which means they'll be closer more frequently. Woot, woot!

5. The brief, but adorable attempt to build a Captain's Line.

For a brief period, we had Jarome Iginla, Brendan Morrow, AND Sid all at one time. Just sit there a minute.

Visualize.

...
...
...

Yep. It was that cool.

6. Last, and definitely not the least, Jordy, Staalsy, Gronk! The Carolina Hurricanes of the National Hockey League were proud to announce their continued intentions to own every player with the last name of "Staal."

Sadly, my favorite player no longer plays for my beloved Penguins. Understandably, he wanted the chance to play with his brothers. From what I've seen of the Canes play since he was traded (on his wedding day to Heather!), he's still have trouble adjusting to playing there. I don't know if it is a comfort level that is just not there or if things are just not clicking for him. But he has seemed a little lackluster in his performances.

It's all good though! (Because it's STALL good!) Just remember this series of moments:

 

At work this morning (I type in data entry in the mornings. Woo. Hoo.) I listened to the game in Detroit from 2008 when Jordy scored a hat trick in the final minutes of regulation and then assisted on Fedotenko's (good riddance) game winner in OT. Man, did that ever help my mood for the day!

On that note, it's time to officially publish my return to the blog and leave you with a song. A friend from work is in a band and just released a new music video. I was pleasantly surprised and it keeps growing on me. :) Enjoy!

Frienemy Friday, Edition 2: Boston Bruins

Check out my consistency!  Two down, 27 to go!  This is craziness.  Boston Bruins.  2011 Stanley Cup Champions.  (Totally not bitter.  At least it was Boston.  It could have been worse.)  Once again, the focus is on a single player: Andrew Ference.

Obviously I was searching for the most appropriate picture I could find.  That's right, Ference.  Fuck the Habs!  Beauty.  (I should note that he was fined $2500 for this.  Way to go.)

***********

Five non-hockey things to know about Andrew Ference:
1. He was born March 17th (Happy St. Patty's!  He's playing in the right city now.), 1979 in Edmonton, Alberta.  I sincerely hope he drinks these on his birthday:

2. He's a big fan of Arsenal.

I think this is my big sister's team.  (She can smack me the next time she sees me if I'm wrong.)  All I know is that it's Premier League FOOTBALL.  (Get it right, y'all.)  Also, footballers are...awesome (You totally thought I was going to say "hot."  Hot.  Hot.  Which they also are.  My girly hormones are showing.)

3. He's environmentally-conscious.  He started the Carbon Neutral Challenge with David Suzuki as a NHLPA program while he was playing in Calgary.  There are now over 500 NHLers who participate in the program.  Count me impressed.

4. He's married to Krista Bradford and has two daughters, Ava Tye and Stella.

Don't ask me to tell you who is who in this picture.  I'm not that big of a creeper.

5. The boy has about a million tattoos.  His tattoo artist is Scott Ford of Smiling Buddha Tattoos.  Who is, apparently, a big Bruins fan and came out and did all of the Cup tattoos for the team.  On the same day.  While they were all packing up.  Oh man.

I totally did not choose these pictures for eye candy.  Though feel free to use them as such if you so please.

***********

Five former/current Penguins that Andrew Ference has played with who are still playing in the NHL/AHL:

1. Marian Hossa.  God rest his soul.  (Too extreme?)  Who is now playing for the Chicago Blackhawks.  I think he finally found his team.  Good for him.

Poor baby.  And to think.  He had to do that again the following year.  Woo!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Jordan Leopold.  We didn't get a lot of games out of him, but that's ok.  He was here.  And then he wasn't.  (I suppose the same could be said of Hossa.  It's just easier to feel betrayed by Hossa.)

He did a good job for us and now he's doing a good job for Buffalo.  (Weirdly, even though Buffalo is pretty close to Pittsburgh, I can't dig up much enmity toward them.  Maybe it's because they're Buffalo and the only time I think about them is when I think about Ryan Miller.  Who is so fucking cool, it's ridiculous.  USA, all the way.)

3. Dany Sabourin.  He had TWO stints in the Burgh.  Lucky duckling.  He's sitting his ass down in Hershey right now.  Stupid Caps with their million good goalies.  So not fair.  Hogging is not appreciated.  (Except in the case of Penguins and centers.)

Dany's logged 16 wins for the Pittsburgh Penguins and I assume that the crying baby on the side of his goalie mask is a child of his.

4. Eric Godard.  Godsy!!!!!!!!!!!  I know he got scratched more than he played, but he was motherfuckin awesome.  (Engells is cooler though.  No offense, Godsy.)  Dallas sent him down to their AHL affiliate, the Texas Stars.  They will be coming up to Michigan to play Grand Rapids on January 13th.  I'm hoping to be there [if he's still with them and it looks like he'll be playing.]

Definition of Eric Godard, right there.

5. And saving the best and most important for last, Brooksie!  Brooks Orpik.  Crazy eyes.

Fun fact: his brother does the same crazy eyes.  They're like twins. It's creepy.  I'm not going to say a lot about Brooksie here, because it would turn into the Brooks Orpik show, except that I'm super-duper happy he's back and playing.

***********

Five former K-Wings that Andrew Ference has played with (I've been pretty impressed with how the number five has been working out for me.):

1. Michael Kiesman played with Ference on the 98-99 Portland Winter Hawks team.  Kiesman played for the Michigan K-Wings for 9 games in 1999-00 which yielded 1 assist and 2 fights.  I looked to see if I could find any video evidence.  I'm sorry to say that the only thing that came up was a Mike Kiesman doing a tough man shot on youtube.  (It was posted by someone with hockey in their username, so maybe it's the same one.  I hope not.  Though it would explain why he's not playing anymore.)  The guy played 5+ years in minor pro hockey and I had to do some serious digging to yield a couple of pictures.  Here's one:

Pretty sure the only other thing I can tell you about Kiesman is that he fought a lot.  (I had only lived here in Kalamazoo for a few months when he played here and I was in 5th grade.  And not really much into watching sports.  Sorry.)

2. Dave Chyzowski has a fabulous last name. Oh, and he played with Ference on the 98-99 Kansas City Blades team.  He played 4 regular season and 16 post season games for the K-Wings in 1995.  He played a great post season, with 9 goals and 5 assists.  Somehow he managed 27 penalty minutes without getting into a fight....  Somehow I'm not sure I really want to know.  He was selected 2nd overall (draft bust!) in 1989 ahead of one of the coolest Penguins ever to don a Pens jersey, Sir Billy G, by the New York Islanders.  He did play some NHL games.

That's all I could come up with.  Which is more than I expected to find.  I did not find any goal scoring evidence (which obviously means that the goals in his stats never happened).  He's now the Director of Sales & Marketing for the Kamloops Blazers Hockey Club.  He won a gold medal for Canada at the 1990 World Juniors.

3. Roman Turek played on the 02-03 Calgary Flames team with Ference and split his team between the Dallas Stars and the Michigan K-Wings from 1996 to 98.  Things we should know about Turek?  He's a goalie.  Therefore he automatically gets cool points.  Our man, BJ played second fiddle to him for a season in St. Louis.  Except Turek wasn't doing so hot and BJ was doing his usual badassery, so BJ got 31 games that season.  And got to the starting position the next season while Turek went to Calgary.  So all of Turek's cool points just got transferred to BJ.  Woot.

Roman, I think it's the hair.  Also, look at BJ's MOVES!  I had so many fantastic picture options for him.  I thought I would refrain from showing him punching Rick DiPietro's lights out (and just talk about it instead), because that is not what he contributes the most to the team.  As you can tell, I'd rather talk about the genius that is Brent Johnson than Roman Turek.  (Shameless plug: Please, by all the that are holy, re-sign BJ every year forever and ever.  He's the best backup we've ever had.)  Oh, Turek had a few more years of solid #1 goaltending in Calgary before Mikka Kipprusoff came along and he left the NHL for the Czech Republic the following season.

4. Jamie Wright also played in Calgary with Andy and also played for the Michigan K-Wings from 96-98 and into 2000 (along with #5 on the list).  He's currently playing in Switzerland.  He played enough (just enough) in the NHL to merit a hockey card wearing a Stars sweater.  Good for him.

He most recently played for in Germany before this and they were kind enough to include his favorite drink, Guinness, on his profile.  Only in Germany.

5. Petr Buzek, as previously mentioned, has about the same team similarities as Jamie Wright. Last I can tell he's retired and most recently played in the Czech Republic.  Originally projected in the top 10 of the 1995 NHL draft, he was involved in a serious car accident in which he fell asleep at the wheel and wrapped his car around a tree.  He apparently broke both of his legs, his nose, his wrist, shattered his right kneecap, fractured his left cheekbone and cracked his skull.  He had numerous operations and ended up getting drafted in the 3rd round.  It all sounds horrible.

It sounds like a miracle that he even got to play any games in the NHL at all.

 ***********

Other notes on Mr. Ference:

He was drafted 208th overall by the Penguins in 1997, and definitely the best pick of all the Penguins draft picks that year.  

He has some a couple former Penguins as classmates: Petr Sykora and Marian Hossa.  Ben Simon (former K-Wings), Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, and Roberto Luongo are a few other names that pop out. 

He scored his first NHL goal on Nov. 13, 1999 against the Nashville Predators and had his first NHL fight a little over a year later, on Nov. 28, 2000 against Jason Allison, who, coincidentally, played for Boston at the time.  Apparently it wasn't much to write home about.  

This is the fight I'm most concerned about.  He fought Sidsters on Dec. 20, 2007 for Sid's first fight.  I'm proud to say that Mr. Sidney Crosby won decidedly.  (Please don't take that to mean that I want Sid to fight.  Because I DON'T!)

I think I may have to go cool off now...

I suppose Ference's accomplishment this past summer deserves a picture.  He did win the Stanley Cup.

We've got a file on you...new K-Wings!

So, it's official!  My favorite K-Wing this season is Justin Taylor.  I told myself I was done picking young, promising forwards because they go away too quickly, but I couldn't help it.  He's a lot of fun to watch play (as is Brandon Svendsen).  Babyface 2,

which I will NOT be calling him all season because it makes me which Fournier was still playing for us, has had a pretty good start to the season.  I've watched him score shorthanded and on the pp, so I'm pretty happy with special teams performance.  I have a feeling he'll take off a little more as the season progresses.  Svendsen

has been fucking ridiculous.  The kid (using the term loosely) has a whopping 14 points in 10 games.

I would like to take a moment to discuss the 6-5 win from a couple weeks ago.  I was severely disappointed in our play and the apparently uneducated K-Wings fans (not all of them, just...a particular one sitting to my right).  We played a dirty, undisciplined game.  Specifically the 3rd period.  And we got called on it.  I feel particularly bad for Riley Gill who was playing FIERCE.  I don't care that he had 5 goals scored against him.  He took 46 shots and those goals were the result of complete defensive COMAS in front of him.  No offense.  Obviously.  I don't give a shit that Asselin and Anthony each got two goals a piece.  Riley Gill deserved 1st star and a lot of beer from his teammates for saving their asses.

Gold star, Riley, gold star for you.  And this is what Darryl Bootland gets (I obviously don't give a shit that he had the gamewinner, either):

Was I strong enough in my opinions on this game?  I don't know.  I'm just glad that the following game was better.  Much better.  I hope they got their asses kicked for playing like that.

If you can't already tell, I'm not a fan of Darryl Bootland.

He's my new Darryl Lloyd.  It's not even that big of an adjustment.  Same first name.  Invert their numbers.  Take away some of the explosive skating power.  And you have Darryl Bootland.  Sure, he scores.  And then he punches people.  And hits them.  And punches them some more.  And takes bad penalties.  Not impressed, sweetie.  Not at all.  This is a new era of hockey.  We are NOT the Flyers from the 70s.  We are not the Islanders from last year.  Learn some respect and use your skill to your advantage.  A pretty goal and a WELL-TIMED fight and legal physical play are more impressive than getting kicked out of the game for being an asshole.

I would ALSO like to mention that showboating?  You look stupid.  This is not showmanship.  This is ego.  I think I might dislike him more than I disliked Darryl Lloyd.  Lloyd had more redeeming qualities.  Bootland has some stick handling skills.  If only he would use them more often.  His performance in the 6-5 win and the more recent 4-1 LOSS was less than exemplary.  Way less.  (The 4-1 loss?  Holy fucking shit!  What the hell kind of game was that?!?)

On to the GOOD things about this season...  We're sitting pretty close to the top of our division with a 7-3 record.  We've played two fewer games than Chicago, at the top of our division, so it will be interesting to see what happens when it all evens out.  (Las Vegas has the league leading scorer, but they also have the most GA.  Defense, boys.)  Wheeling has an 8-3 record, so I'm pretty happy with that.  Our power play is looking sick!  In a phenomenally good way.  Ranked 2nd in the league, which is great because our PK?  It could be a hell of a lot better.  Despite having 2 shorties (Thank you JT and Svendsen!), we have one of the worst PKs in the league.  Super disappointed.  PKs are kinda my thing.  I hearts them.  A lot.  Especially if JStaal is working one out. (I know, I know!  It has been made clear to me that not everyone is as cool as Jordy.  Or Adsy.  Or Cookie.)

The D-men are impressing me.  Sort of.  We have a few who are playing really well (with the exception of our loss to Trenton last weekend).  Sova has been solid for us and so have Reid and Ellington. The biggest problem I'm noticing is that our defensemen are not focusing on their jobs.  As in, defense.  They're not working hard enough at getting into shooting lanes, back checking, seeing the ice, helping their goalie.  There are moments when I get really excited because the d-men are joining the rush and make some nifty moves to get the puck in deep.  And then there are the more frequent moments when I want to punch them in the face.  The moments when they don't apply any pressure on the other team, let the puck-carrier deke easily around them and leave wide open ice in front of the goalie.  The loss against Trenton (which heralded the return of two former K-Wings d-men, Versteeg and Syvret) was a pathetic example of defense.  The early goals by Trenton were ones that probably should have been saved by Clermont (in his first showing), but the subsequent goals occurred because Clermont's teammates left him out to dry.

This is Joe Sova's first full professional season and he was named performer of the month of the ECHL last month.  Nifty thrifty.

I originally planned on showing him playing, you know, actual hockey.  But this was too cute.  And I'm a bit of a sucker for cute.  He previously played at the University of Alaska-Fairbanks, is about 6 months older than me, and from Illinois.  He lists the New Jersey Devils as his favorite team, but I'm pretty sure when a team has the rights to you and you want to play in the NHL, that's an automatic.  I would suck up, too.  He's going to do well for us this year (helped along by the fact that he sports the best number out there).

Lucky for Reid, he's on loan to Houston.  Good for him getting a stint up in the AHL.  Bad for us, because I've loved watching him play.  He's feisty, strong on the puck, and responsible in his own end.  Ellington stuck out a couple weekends ago (in a good way!), lugging the puck into the offensive zone, making plays.  I love it when I get to watch d-men do that (and, as previously stated, play defensively).

Speaking of two weekends ago, we played the new-to-the-league Chicago Express in a 7-2 WINNER.  It was super fun to watch, and despite the fact that we won by 5 goals, Chicago was a great opponent and it was a well-fought, exciting game.  As chance would have it, the new owners of the Express were sitting behind me and a father of one of the Express players was also sitting behind me.  They were appropriately supportive (and loud) for their team and were generally very nice and good-humored.  The dad (of one, Evan Stephens) mentioned that his son played for Dartmouth previously.  Me, being the nosy person I am, perked right up.  Because who else, but MISTERBENLOVEJOY, played for Dartmouth.  I, of course, turned around and asked him what years because "one of my favorite Penguins players played for Dartmouth!"  And he knew exactly who I was talking about.  Turns out that they did not play the same years; that Lovejoy graduated the year before, but that his son did know him.  (I worked it out all by myself that meant that he played with Lovejoy, the youngest, last year.)  It was a lovely game.  I got a repeat against Chicago this past weekend at least.  Since the STH I sit next to went out of town this weekend and were LOVELY and offered their tickets to me for both games I got to attend both without using up any of mine.  They're getting jam for Christmas.  At the very least.

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The new boys:

Ryan Del Monte, right wing, #9.  Maybe we'll see him, maybe we won't.

Classy shit, this picture.  They were taking notes from the Canadian women's Olympic team.  Ryan is the one on the left blowing smoke rings.  I suppose this merits some explanation.  He played for the Cincinnati Cyclones in 2010 when they won the Kelly Cup.  He also played four years at Brock University and split time last season with Cincinnati and South Carolina of the ECHL and Rochester and Worcester of the AHL.  Information for creepers (of which I'm not...really...seriously...mostly not): no twitter account that I can find, but he does have a facebook.  Most of it is private (smart boy!) and the only thing I gleaned was that it was indeed the Ryan Del Monte I was looking for and he's fb friends with Biznasty (which means they must be bffs in real life).  Information for those of you mostly concerned about what he's going to contribute to the K-Wings: First of all, the stats on his bio page on the K-Wings website are wrong.  Thank goodness I double check, because I was doing a double take on the only 5 games in 08-09 season.  The stats under Johnstown are actually for Charlotte in the 09-10 season and they left out the Johnstown stats for 08-09.   As I said before, maybe we'll see him, maybe we won't.  He started the season up in Worcester and he's still there--albeit on the injured list.  He's played 8 games with them so far and has notched an assist and 4 penalty minutes.  He sustained an injury during a game against the Ice Caps from Patrice Cormier and has not played since.  IF we see him back down here (I'm sure he's hoping for a swift recovery and that we won't.), expect decent production and at least 1-2 minor penalties a game.  Familiar faces he's played with before: Jon Landry, Wes O'Neill, Chris Clackson, Eric Kattelus, Garret Suter.

Bryan Haczyk, forward, #12.  Rookie!

In case you were wondering (because I know you were), that picture is NOT from the last couple years.  Haczyk went to Seton Hall Prep and this is from his junior year.  (I'm not a creeper. It was on page one of the google image results!)  He's originally from Secaucus, NJ, according to the K-Wings page, Nutley, NJ, according to his twitter.  Believe what you want.  I'll try not to hold that against him.  He played four years at Niagara University and GRADUATED with a degree in accounting (a semester early).  I don't know why, but I get all excited when I see that a hockey player actually finished his degree.  Information for creepers:  He does have a twitter account.  Find it yourself.  I'm not even going to bother with facebook.  My mind works like this: Twitter=creeping and facebook=personal/private.  :D  Information for those of you concerned about actual hockey information: He had a breakout senior year at Niagara production-wise, but had numbers all over the place, so it's hard to tell.  He had a good game on Saturday and got a call up Sunday and has been returned to us already.  Crossing my fingers that he continues this good play.  I keep telling myself that I need to take notes when I go to games.

Eric Kattelus, forward, #15.  Michigander, and therefore a Red Wings fan.

He played for Michigan Tech.  It would have been four years, except he was dismissed in November of his senior year for a violation of team rules.  This was after a two month suspension the previous year.  Of course, these things are always kept hush-hush about the WHY.  And I won't speculate.  Except to say that he better not fuck up here (because we're starting to look like the home of dismissed players...).  Information for creepers:  No twitter that I can tell.  If you're feeling supes creepy, feel free to do your own digging.  Information for the hockey-minded crowd: I've seen a few nifty moves from him during games and he's been an ok performer.  He had  a couple not-so-good games this past weekend.  Every time I noticed him (with the exception of one moment in Saturday's game), it wasn't for the right reasons.  Step it up, boyo!

Nick Sirota, forward, #20.  Congrats on your first games and goals as a K-Wing!

I was going to post a serious picture.  But then I saw this.  And I'm pretty sure he might be the only current K-Wings of whom there is a bobblehead.  And I couldn't resist.  Anyway, this is his third full year as a pro hockey player.  He played a few games with Idaho once his collegiate career was done and played the last two years in Missouri in the CHL.  See above picture.  :D  Information for creepers: I gots nadda.  Information for you hockey nuts: Ironman type with steady improvement.  I think we'll see him get better and better as the season goes on.  So far, I'm quite optimistic.  He finally got to play three games ago and has been put in every game since.  And has accumulated 2 goals, 1 assist and a +3 rating.  Also, he's from Wisconsin and is a Blackhawks fan.  This automatically gives him a leg up on Kattelus.  Familiar faces as former teammates: Blake Friesen.

Steven Anthony, forward, #21.  I've got connections galore on this guy...

1. He's from Halifax.  Who do you know that has a house in Halifax?  (Ok, not who do you know?  Who do you wish you knew?)  Sidsters.  Apparently he's missing home right now (thank you, twitter).
2. He played juniors for the Saint John Sea Dogs and won the Memorial Cup last season with none other than Penguins first round, 2009 draft pick, Simon Despres.  (Current Baby Pen, Nick Petersen, also played a season with them.)
Steven is a draft pick of the Vancouver Canucks (Thank you for sending him to us, oh lovely affiliate!) and spent part of the preseason up there.  He's played well for us and I'm hoping to see him get more ice time.  Information for creepers:  Yes to twitter.  Follow him on your own.  He's not as creative as Bissonnette, but then, who is?  Pretty sure he's one of those examples that I would use for my reasoning of not really wanting to meet anyone from my favorite teams.  No offense, but I tend to get along with nice, quiet, nerdy boys the best.  And hockey players don't usually fit that mold.  (Although, he put reading down as a hobby for the K-Wings website.  Really?  I'm curious...)

Darryl Bootland doesn't count as being new.  Moving on.  Jerkoff. 

Harry Young, D-Man!, #2.

As you can see, Harry won the Memorial Cup as well.  Twice.  With the Windsor Spitfires.  Back-to-back.  I suppose that means he has bragging rights over Steven.  A draft pick of the Devs, Sir Harry (because that just sounds better) spent parts of his preseason this year and last year up with the big club and most of last season playing in the AHL.  As much as I want quality D-men down here in the 'zoo, I'm sure he's hoping for a call-up.  Information for creepers:  I will be officially super creeped out if you can find his twitter account just with his name.  If he has one.  Information for K-Wings fans: He's only played a few games for us and I'm excited to see more.  He obviously has a feeling for winning, so let's hope that rubs off on us.  Other than that, I don't know much.  The repeated scratching doesn't bode well, I suppose.  But you never know!  Familiar faces in former teammates: Elgin Reid, Michael Neuvirth, Taylor Hall.

Mike Matczak, Defenseman, #7. Officially a goal-scorer in professional hockey.

Mike played four years of college hockey at Yale and is another Jersey boy (too many, considering that Jersey ain't that big).  He attended Milton Academy in his youth (because he's obviously aging) and captained the squad as a senior.  The only fun hockey-related, non-generic fact I can come up with is that his first professional hockey game was against the Baby Pens.  He got a call from the Adirondack Phantoms in the morning and was on the ice that night shortly after finishing his college career last season.
Familiar faces...: Matt Clackson, Kenny Agostino (for those of you who don't know, he was a 2010 Penguins draft pick; currently playing at Yale).

Joe Sova, DDDDD, #11.  Best number on the team.  Obs.  Already winning awards for it [and his play.]

I know I already talked about him a bit.  I should mention that, as part of the 2010 Alaska Nanooks (yes, nanooks) team, he was part of their first ever appearance in the NCAA tournament.  Coolio.  If any team is going to goad him in to fighting for the first time, it's ours.  Go figure.  I'm pretty sure I'll be just fine if we don't.  I'm hoping to get at least  half of our games out of him this season, but he's working pretty hard to be noticed by the Devs. Familiar faces: Max Pacioretty (evil=Habs), Eddie Olczyk (son of Eddie Olczyk, former Penguin)

Taylor Ellington, D (again), #23.  Vancouver 2nd round draft pick 2007.

Taylor's been a pretty reliable defenseman.  I couldn't resist putting his stylized draft pic in.  I mean, it's not as cool as Sid's (which his FIRE), but I realize that not everyone can be that cool.  Hockey's Future cited (back when he was drafted) that he's developing a mean streak in the defensive end.  I'm not sure I appreciate that too much, but we'll see.  Also, his birthday is HALLOWEEN.  I'm not sure if that's really fucking awesome or really fucking horrible.  He played junior hockey for the Everett Silvertips.  The Silvertips.  I hope that bodes well.  Silver.  Stanley.  Awesomeness.  Familiar faces: Michael Grabner (why have they all played with guys who play for evil teams?), Nolan Baumgartner (who had a very brief stint as a Penguin), Evan Rankin, and former and current K-Wings: Darryl Bootland, Ryan McGinnis, Rick Cleaver, and Riley Gill.


I've already discussed Maxime Clermont.  Crossing my fingers that he'll improve.  Or that we play Gill a LOT.

Music moment!: I think it's time for some Blur.  Out of all my favorites (and there are many), Blur gets tops.  Genius.  That's what they are.  Absofuckinglutely genius.  Once again, thank you sister.  (She's a bigger Blur fan than me.  She did start it.)

Beginning with "Tender," as it is my favorite love song.  Work.  Of.  Art.

I was going to do a live version, but the little bit, "my eyes are blue..." when it goes into harmonies...  Oh my goodness.  It just is so much better with Damn doing all the harmonies.  The man is...Mm, mm, mm.  That lines is so yummy that I just melt into a puddle of sugary goodness.  I've had moments where I just listen to it over and over and over and over and over...

I'm having a really, really difficult time trying to keep this short.  Here's two more and then you should go listen to every Blur song recorded.  And then repeat.

If you're thinking that they sound familiar, it's because they should.  If you're reading a hockey blog, then you should recognize their biggest American hit:

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!  In my head, that was Sidney scoring.

Frienemy Friday, Edition 1: Anaheim Ducks

I had a brilliant idea a couple weeks ago, which I think was spurred on by a TV show I was watching.  (I think it was "Revenge.")  Mostly it centers around the word "frienemy."  Obviously, my brain made the leap directly to hockey.  And I've arrived at specials on teams with former Penguins (or Baby Penguins or Nailers or K-Wings...or from Pittsburgh or Kalamazoo).  Now, because I'm a ridiculously OCD person when it comes to order (My books are organized first by genre, and then alphabetically by author and my DVDs are in alphabetical order.  Feel free to mock.), it's only fitting that I begin with "A" for the Anaheim Ducks.

There is only one Duck currently on their roster who is a Penguin Frienemy.  Mr. George Parros.

This is possibly the most fitting picture of him that I could find.  Fighting + stache.  I should start with how monsieur frienemy IS a frienemy.  Parros was born December 29, 1979 in Washington, PA (Warsh-ing-ton.).  He didn't grow up in Pittsburgh, but I'm conveniently turning a blind eye to the fact that he grew up in Jersey (because who wants to say they grew up in Jersey???). 

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I'll start with the fighting, as that stands out among his hockey career.  He has a career 12 fights against Penguins/former Penguins (not necessarily while they were Penguins).  He began with brand new current Penguin, Steve MacIntyre on February 2nd, 2005 in a game between the Manchester Monarchs and the Hartford Wolf Pack of the AHL (Parros for Manchester and MacIntyre for Hartford).  I would totally post a video, except, apparently, people only record NHL or junior fights.  Also, it was in 2005.  Before the advent of the iPhone (there really was such a time!).  All I could seem to glean is that they found the need to fight not once, but twice in the same game.  Parros and MacIntyre completed their trilogy of fights (yes, I said trilogy!) exactly 6 years, 1 week and 6 days later on February 13th, 2011 in a game between Anaheim and Edmonton.  There IS video footage of this!

There are actually punches thrown!  Like, a real fight!  Not hugging!  (Ok, so there's definitely a good amount of pinning arms to the glass.  I won't say anything more down that road.  Because I'm not crass and vulgar.  Duh.  Don't forget to forget that statement when I say something crass and vulgar shortly.)

The second trilogy (Obviously George Parros has a thing for Star Wars.) involves Eric Godard.  Godsy!!!  Beast!!!  This was the Trilogy of 2007-2008.  It began in January of 2007, with a few good punches thrown and a knee brought up by Parros (it's quick, see if you can catch it...).  Godsy is the man.

It then continued on November 29th:

Umm, what was I saying?  I think I just went weak in the knees.  Godsy is a god (not God, because that's Mario).  Oh, sorry Parros.  But...  Hot damn!

...

...

...

Continuing to their conclusion on February 17th, 2008:

My favorite thing about this?  Parros and Godard went from "two big men" in the first video to "two big boys" in the last.  It's good to know that people get younger with time.  Encouraging.  I almost said that I'm pretty sure once you hit the 6 foot, 200+ pounds, and 25+ years of age mark, you're not boys any more.  And then I thought about that statement and decided that wasn't quite accurate.  Since you'd have to move on from being boys into being men in the first place.

Parros' final trilogy took place against Paull Bissonnette.  AKA Biznasty.  (If you have twitter and you don't follow him, you should.  Purely for the entertainment value.)  The final trilogy took place in 2009 and 2010.  First, on Halloween (Appropriate.  I'm pretty sure Parros never needs a costume.  What with the mustache and all.) 2009.:

I think this was the most dance-like bout I've watched so far.  You could put music to it.  Short music.  They completed the trilogy in the space of less than a month in December of 2010 on the 5th and 28th.:

Niiiicely done, Bissonnette.  I'm thinking that it needs some swing music.

I'm impressed.  They even got some man-hugging in this time.

Now, Parros did fight a couple other former/current Penguins.  He has bookended his NHL fights against Penguins with Mike Rupp (Ruppers, how I miss you!!!).  He first fought Rupp in 2005, his first year in the league, while he was playing in Los Angeles and while Rupp was playing in Columbus.

Man, oh man...  This is good stuff.

I'm pretty sure they haven't seen the last of each other.  It's just going to take a little longer to complete their trilogy.  Since Ruppers is playing for the Rangers.  (At least it's not Philly.)

Last, but certainly not least.  Not least by a LOT.  Is Engells.  King of England.  Engelland.  It occurred on November 5th, 2010.  I'm going to preface this video by assuring you that this is not the best example of Engells fighting.  Keep that in mind.  And then go check him out against Colton Orr.  The boy is epic.

I'm glad that this is a Pittsburgh feed, since they understand that Engells is the shit.  Interesting point: this is Parros' only fight actually against the Penguins.  When one looks at Parros' stats against the Pens, it's not really all that surprising.  Considering that his career totals are: 4 games, 13:25 TOI, 7 penalty minutes and a -1.

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The second most important thing about Parros is his stache.  I'm pretty sure that it should be afforded its own seat on a plane.  Or two.  I'm also pretty sure that he never has to come up with a Halloween costume.  The stache does it all.

I hope this gives you a good idea.  I suppose it's not just the stache, but also the hair.  As evidenced by the last photo.  Props.

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There ARE other things to know about Mr. Parros.  For instance, sticking with the frienemy theme, his teammates over the years...

He's had one former teammate who plays for the K-Wings!  Sam Ftorek.  In his one and only stint in the AHL for the Manchester Monarchs in the 03-04 season.

Among his former/current Pens teammates, we have:

Tom Kostopoulos, the man with the best name in hockey.  Teammate from 04-05 in Manchester and then 05-06 in LA.

Mathieu Garon, practicing his killer dance moves for the celebratory after-party.  04-05 Manchester.

Chris Kunitz, THE man.  07-09 with Anaheim.  Also, the man we got for...

Whitters!  (2009 with the Ducks.)  I'd like to formally apologize.  Poor guy got traded just in time for us to WIN THE CUP.  I'm not apologizing for trading him.  I'm apologizing because I'm HAPPY we traded him.  Because we got Kuny.  (We totally got the better end of the deal.  ...  No offense.)

Erik Christensen.  Played end of 09 through 2010.  I almost put his headshot up.  Because it's adorable.  But I thought that him being near the goal with a puck would be more respectable.

Jarkko Ruutu.  10-11 with the Ducks.  This was the most appropriate picture I could find of him.  I thought that showing him doing fancy stick moves seemed inappropriate.

And last, but not least, but certainly not at the forefront of my brain, Nate Guenin.  Two games.  This season.  Before Mr. Guenin got sent down.  :(  (I would like to point out that Nate got a GOAL in his first game.  First NHL goal.  Kudos.)  Also, Nate Guenin is from Pittsburgh.  I hope they bonded.

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Goin' back.  Back in time.  (Cheesiest reference I have EVER used.)  College!  This is a good time to mention that Georgie here is a bit of a smarty-pants.  In fact, he was named to the "20 Smartest Athletes in Sports" list put out by the Sporting News last year.  He came in at number four.  George attended Princeton University

He obtained a degree in economics and he likes to do crossword puzzles.  But not the New York Times ones, because "they've got 16th century poets and stuff."  Way to show off your smarts, Georgie.  He likes the ones in USA Today.  Personally, crossword puzzles not edited by Will Shortz don't exist.  (I'm totally not a snob.  At all.  Nope.)  Also, my SAT score is only 250 points below his.  ...   I took it in the 6th grade.

An aside: Number three on the list is Ross Ohlendorf of the Pirates.  Nifty thrifty.  Also a Princeton grad, who was apparently reading Dorothy Sayers at the time of the interview.  And the only other hockey player to make the list?  Douglas Murray.  Who is one class away from graduating Cornell with a degree in hotel management.  (I don't know how long he's been waiting on the class, but I suppose there's not real rush.  What with the millions he's made playing hockey.)

The teammates that Parros and Murray picked as the smartest guys they've played with?  Jonas Hiller and Patrick Marleau.  Jonas Hiller speaks "five languages or something like that."

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Parros played one year of juniors before heading to college, with the Chicago Freeze.

Oh, wait.  Wrong team.  There are two Chicago Freeze teams.  This one ^  is the one in the National Gay Football League.  Awesome-sauce.  Obviously they're better photographed than George Parros' team was.  Since you'll have to be satisfied with a logo. 

At the end of Parros' season in juniors, he was drafted in the 1999 draft.  Things you should know about the 1999 NHL entry draft?  The Sedins were drafted 2, 3 by Vancouver (obviously).  The Penguins most notable draft picks: 1st round, Konstantin Koltsov, AKA Geno's number.  4th round, BUGSY MALONE!  Hometown boy.  7th round, Tom Kostopoulos (connections, connections).  Other interesting things...  1st overall was Patrik Stefan, who had stats at both ends of the spectrum and didn't really stick around.  Maybe there's a reason the Thrashers are now the Jets...  Why would you pass up a Sedin?  (Especially since I am, self-admittedly, not their biggest fan.)  Adam Hall was drafted in the 2nd round, 52nd overall, by the Nashville Predators.  [Current] hometown boy!  Why are they both in Tampa?  Really?  Who wants to live in warm weather year round and still get to play hockey?  Fun fact for you Red Wings fans.  (And if you're a Red Wings fan, I'm assuming you're reading this because you're also a K-Wings fan.  And that you already know this fact.)  Zetterberg was drafted this year.  7th round, 210th overall.  Also, he's the lowest-drafted NHL All-Star of this year's draft.

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The thing I should end with is, obviously, George Parros' Stanley Cup ring.  

Shiny.  (This makes me want to watch "Firefly."  Thanks, Kaylee.)

Parros played 54 seconds shy of a full period of hockey in the playoffs.  And no fights (?!?).  But, he got a pretty, shiny, heavy, expensive ring.  And got to lift the Cup.  Pretty sure that says it all.