The Dashing of Dreams...and the Intactness (?) of BFFs.

So a lot of things have happened over the last few days...trades, signings, free agency.  You know...the dying of DREAMS.  Personally, the biggest news of the week was Paul Kariya's retirement.  (I swear to God, he's a vampire!)  The line I've been impossibly dreaming of (Selanne-Crosby-Kariya) is now no longer a possibility.  Because it obviously was before.  Just LOOK!

Now imagine all that intensity on ONE LINE.  Don't bother telling me how unrealistic this dream has always been.  I know.  I just like to dream BIG.  Like...really big.  Impossibly big. 

The other thing about Paul Kariya I would like to mention, as I did earlier, is my theory on his vampiric qualities.  First of all, he doesn't age!  I swear...he does not age.  Lookie, lookie!

No aging.  It's a little creepy.  Therefore: vampire.  My theory is he's retiring until people forget what he looked like and then he is going to make a comeback.  At the same age he originally started at.  It's like Twilight.  (Don't judge.  Those are the most hysterical works to come out of this decade.  And I mean hysterical, not brilliant.  Or maybe brilliantly hysterical.)

On to the second DEAD DREAM.  Jagr and Crosby playing together.  On the ice.  At the same time.  Just picture the brilliance.  And then picture that brilliance being dashed.  Into millions of tiny pieces.  And then picture Jagr in a Cryer's jersey taking a face-off against Sid.  And then laugh when Philly doesn't even make the playoffs (now we're entering fantasy land).  I refuse to allow pictures to accompany this information.  Although this does seem like a good moment to mention Maxime's defection as well.  To be clear, I did not want the Penguins to re-sign Talbot.  He was not worth it and I agree with not offering him a long term contract like he wanted.  I think Philly was over-zealous and overly optimistic with their contract.  No offense to Max Talbot, but I think his contract is worth more than him.  He's a clutch player in the playoffs.  Sometimes.  But I wasn't nearly as impressed with his overall performance in the regular season.  He never quite lived up to his potential.  As funny and hilarious as he is.

The Flyers have been headlining the other news as well this week.  What with their crazy trades to make room for Bryz (who just lost some points in my estimation, even if it is a good career move), plethora of signings (such an overused word, but it fit), and general icky Flyer-ness.  On the plus side, I may grow to like Mike Richards one day.  The Kings make the good list, so that might just rub off on him. 

Just ignore the ugly uniform.  Imagine one with a crown instead.

Unfortunately for Jeff Carter, I can't say the same for him.  Maybe just a lessening of dislike.  The Blue Jackets are not fortunate enough to be on my good list.  For some reason, I just CANNOT bring myself to like Rick Nash.  And this of course rubs off on the rest of the team.

Enough about the Flyers.  I may need to go hurl if I keep talking about them.  Also unfortunately, most of the other major trades and signings involve teams I dislike.  Washington.  Detroit.  Rangers.  I don't know why they suddenly made my list of dislike, because I've always secretly (or not so secretly) liked them.  I think it's the Staal effect.  It's probably because they now have Mike Rupp and we don't.

If you've been reading my previous posts (Which if you're not, you totally should.  Because they're brill.) you'll remember that I made a pitch to keep Mike Rupp.  Because he's awesome.  Unfortunately it looks like the Penguins told him they would not be extending him an offer (I'm assuming this, as he had stated that he would like to stay in Pitt.) and he signed a long term deal with the Rangers.  We'll miss you Ruppers!  Please try not to damage us too much when you play us.  Much appreciated.

In other GOOD news, the return of Mr. President is assured!

Get excited.  This is possibly the most important signing of the Pen's 2011 off-season.  And he got a well-deserved pay raise.  $4 million over 2 years.  Not bad TK, not bad.  Also, I would be upset if management got rid of Staalsy-boy's BFF.  Rude.  That's what it would be.  Hopefully they'll keep them together on the same line next season as well.  95 days until the first game of the regular season.  So close.  I'm forseeing many watchings of Miracle, Sid highlights, Geno highlights, old games, Jorday highlights, highlights in general, more Miracle, maybe some MD between now and then.

I think my brain is almost done functioning.  (It obviously was done functioning many, many hours ago, but I felt the need to pound this one out.)  So it's probably best if I leave more reactions for another day.  Let's leave with a beauty.